Serials and Scenarios - M L Tyndall - Pirate Dates and Other Pirate Dirt

Mary Lu Tyndall's The Restitution released September 4th. Mary Lu agreed to answer my deepest, darkest most secret pirate curiosities.

Enjoy...uh...maybe enjoy is a little inappropriate...how about "Argh, jest read it already!"

Thanks Mary Lu...this was fun.

I love to read good, gritty pirate talk. One of my favorite phrases from the book "Pirate Parenting" is "me cat kittened in me mouth"…What is your favorite pirate (real or made-up) phrase?

My favorite real pirate phrase is Dance the Hempen Jig –which means to hang for pirating. (I know, sorry. I have an odd sense of humor.)

The most atrocious and disgusting pirate behavior is (family friendly of course)
(mine would be the teeth of lack thereof – shudder)

Well, as you can imagine, pirates had quite a few disgusting behaviors, personal hygiene definitely among them. You might also say that their language and morals were quite lacking as well. But by far, the most atrocious behavior I have come across was they way they punished members of their own crew. A serious offense, such as trying to take more than their share of the plunder, would ofttimes sentence the offender to a ritual called keelhauling. Without being too graphic, the man was tied to a rope that looped beneath the vessel, then thrown overboard and dragged under the “keel” of the ship. I’ll stop there, short of telling you what that did to him. Yikes!

Describe a pirate's dream date.

First a lovely meal of Salmagundi—a favorite pirate dinner (a stew of chopped beef, fish, turtle, chicken, eggs, anchovies, onions, grapes, herring, cabbage, seasoned with salt and vinegar. Yummy!) by candlelight sittin’ over a barrel on the poop deck of the ship.
A swig of Rum (to be shared with lady fair, only if she has all her teeth an’ smiles at ye real pretty)
Bring out the boys with their fiddles, and dance a jig across the main deck to lewd pirate ballads.
A swig of Rum (to be shared with lady fair if she still hasn’t fainted from the stench of ye)
Show the lady yer treasure and allow her to count the pieces of eight from the chest. (This be sure to get her in the mood for love!)
A swig of Rum (Dependin’ on how much rum ye’s got left, ye may or may not want to be sharin’ anymore with the lady)
Chase the fair lady around the deck fer a kiss (If ye can’t catch her, shoot her)
A swig of Rum (no more sharin’)
Find a worthwhile target. (A Spanish ship, British ship, Dutch Ship, French ship…well, any ship, really) and fire yer cannons an’ blow it to smithereens
Finish off the Rum
Pass out on the deck and lady fair has to find her own way off the ship and back home.


Which "real life" pirate (or legend I suppose) would you have most like to have met? And why?

I would have to say, the pirate, Stede Bonnet, also known as the gentleman pirate. He was a well educated man who had a successful plantation on Barbados, and one day, he gave it all up, bought a ship and became a pirate. Later captured at Charles Town, SC, he was imprisoned in the provost marshal’s house, where he dressed up like a lady and escaped. Unfortunately, he was recaptured only 14 days later and despite his pleadings for mercy—in addition to many appeals from the ladies of Charles Town—he was hung for piracy. His reasons for becoming a pirate? Only God knows, but Bonnet did confess that he found great “discomforts in the married state”. I also tend to think he was just bored. He had achieved all there was to achieve for a man of his breeding and education and found the rest of his days spanning out before him in mindless tedium. But, I’ll wager he was a pretty interesting guy to talk to. (But, then again, I like to talk to unusual people)

Detail your favorite pirate activity, custom or superstition

My favorite Pirate superstition has to be the Flying Dutchman. Even though the Disney Pirate movies have only recently made it popular, the tale has been around since 17th century. The Flying Dutchman is a ghost ship that can never return to port and is doomed to sail the seas forever. Seen from afar, she appears to glow with a ghostly light. If you sail close enough, her crew will try to send messages to people long since dead. A sighting of this ship is a foreshadow of doom. The story goes that it was once captained by a Dutchman Bernard Fokke who made a pact with the devil as he encountered a storm trying to round the Cape of Good Hope. According to other versions, some horrible crime took place on board, and the crew was infected with the plague and not permitted to anchor at any port so as not to spread the disease. Since then, the ship and its crew are doomed to sail forever, never putting in to shore.

And here's my take on the book:

Of the two Legacy of the King's Pirates novels I've read, The Restitution is my favorite. I think it could work well as a stand alone, so even if you haven't read the first two in the series, you can find a great story in The Restitution.

M L Tyndall knows her pirates. Unfortunately, she shares a little too much in the smell department, but, alas, I'm sure being there was worse.

Captain Carlton shaped nicely from a creep (book 2) into a roguish and attractive man. Isabel softened into a woman I could grow to like.

The story moved at a fast clip - probably about 40-50 knots- and there were a few unexpected squalls. Last but not least, romance, hoped for and unexpected alike, flourished under star lit skies.

If you love pirate adventure, adventure in any format, romance, pirates or just fun stories you should find much to like in The Restitution.

Get yer grubby mitts on a copy.

And for the morbidly curious in the group. Keelhauling defined.

Scribble and Scrambles - Feral Will of The Sharpened Teeth

I was recently inspired to pen a poem.

I think it is up there with "Die, Cricket, Die" with less violence.

Well...maybe not.

This poem rhymes...kind of.

I've entitled it...Feral Will of the Sharpened Teeth

Augh!
I'm being bitten
By a kitten
Wearing taloned mittens.

Gasp!
I'm being gnawed
By a clawed
Beastie-wad.


Yes. It's short, lame and to the point.

And you were expecting...?

In case you don't know the story of Feral Will. Let me share.

Late one recent afternoon the puppies bee-lined toward something fascinating. Their body language prompted us to investigate the reason for much enthusiasm, and there, holding his own, with a Halloween cat pose, stood a teeny kitten.

Of course we saved him, whisking him into the newly formed Klepfer Kitten Foster Care Program. However, over the days of waiting for the few people we asked to adopt him to accept or decline our offer, he began to grow on us. And most importantly, Rob.

Rob didn't care for the name chosen by the household females. Feral Will originally answered to Q-Tip. Full black save for a white-tipped tail, we felt it appropriate.

But with the realization that we could keep him and armed with the goal of a man pleasing name change we struggled through several possibilities. Finally, we decided to use his less than wonderful arrival and add a twist. Acceptance of the truth and a tribute to the Piglet's great-grandfather (Trespassers Will) and an actor appearing in two of our favorite movies.

Now, that dear readers, is creativity through the sieve of twisted minds.

Would now be an appropriate time to tell you that the picture is a body-double? Feral Will was unavailable for a picture at this time.

Scribbles and Scrambles - Let Your Voice Be Heard and Maybe Win a Free Book!

Thought I'd pass this along. Bethany House is offering a chance to win one of several recent book titles for a few minutes of your time. Click above and share your opinions on a new book's cover.

If you are interested in the science and art of book covers, visit Novel Journey.

I'm not sure what tomorrow's blog post will bring. We'll see what shakes loose tonight.

Have a good one.

Serials and Scenarios - Life, Libby and the Pursuit of Happiness

Here's a fun Chick-Lit to curl up with now that days are getting shorter and the air is getting that fallish nip. (This is the best time to live in Iowa where our seasons are changeable, often mixed up, but different.)

Click to visit Hope.

My Review:


There have to be subgenres in Chick-Lit.

If so, Libby would straddle career and dismal love life lit.

Libby is an engaging voice. Angst riddled as are most Chick-Lit heroines. With first person Chick-Lit you get all of it, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Libby is far more likeable than several other characters I've met between the covers of novels. She's sarcastic and has a dry delivery. If you try to avoid snide, she hovers on that edge, so you may not like her. I happen to love sarcasm.

There is tad too much predictibility in Libby's life. But I guess that is somewhat realistic. After all, sometimes I'm the last one to see it because I'm so close to it.

I struggled with a few "yeah right" moments of coincidence. But then again, this is not the mystery genre.

Overall, I can easily recommend this book to those who love clever escapist reads.

Scribbles and Scrambles - You Do Not Want to be a Spider In My House

We've got a bit of a spider problem.

I think the spiders are blissfully unaware of this fact, though.

Rob, being the sensitive pet lover that he is, being protective of the puppies and kitten by not spraying Spider-Be-Gone as per usual this time of year.

In case there is a People for the Ethical Treatment of Spiders...PETS...let me assure you that I know the value of these fine fellows. Without spiders we'd walk around with mosquito welts and our plants would be sad shadows of what they could be (in someone else's yard, my yard is not plant friendly, nor my home. But I digress.)

Spiders are welcome to visit the great outdoors at my home at any time.

However, they aren't content with this scenario.

Because the spiders have realized we are Spider-Be-Gone free, therefore, spider friendly, they are CREEPing in by the droves.

I may be exaggerating when I say droves. When factoring in the icky factor of the spider thing...droves would be around six. Yes. Six spiders.

Encountered spiders. Shudder.

One very brave spider fought back early Friday morning. I stepped out of the shower and there he lurked. I attempted to quickly dispatch him and he resisted, jumping toward me. Twice. Finally, I trapped him and let my brave daughter do the default dirty deed.

Yesterday, I opened one bathroom door wide and something dark caught my attention. Right below the bottom hinge an image, gray but clear.

It was a mark.

Had a super spider left a calling card? A threat? A statement not unlike the horse head?

No. After a little investigation...it turned out not to be a calling card. But simply a poor choice in hiding places.

Scribble and Scrambles - Hitchcock Moment Part 2

I'm sure you'll remember the moment in which I slid back the shower curtain to reveal "the face."

The moment the lights went out in South Dakota...well...let's just say a few things went through my mind.

First. Annoyance. Did someone actually come into this public bathroom, hear running water and shut off the lights? No way!

Second. Realization of utter and complete silence save the running water and my increasingly deep breaths.

Third. Remembrance of moments of movie horror. The monster or sharpened-hook wielding, maniac always strikes directly after or during a moment of complete and utter silence.

Fourth. AUGH! SERIAL KILLER IN THE BATHROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm all ALONE!

Fifth. Hey was that lightning? And hail?

Sixth. I've got a wooden door and a nifty little latch. Hatchet man is going to have to make some noise to get through it. And I know some serious self-defense moves.

Seventh. That is lightning, hail, thunder and impressive rain.

Eighth. Ha. No Norman Bates after all.

Ninth. Hope the water holds up so I can rinse.

Hope you enjoyed your visit to my little nightmare.

And yes, it was a storm that took the lights, and no, I didn't run out of water, and no one turned up missing though one of the campers looked suspiciously like Norman's mother.

Serials and Scenarios - Camy Confesses

Camy Tang stopped in for a visit.... I'm mixing things up color-wise -- you'll understand as you read her comments. : )

Fiction character you would most like to be or most identify with and why?

Anne Elliot from Persuasion by Jane Austen. I love that book. I read it once every few months. Anne has made mistakes in the past, but she holds firm to her principles and morals, and strives to live correctly despite the new disappointments in her life. She’s never preachy or self-righteous, and she gets her man in the end. And that love letter at the end is so passionate, it always makes me tear up (although, granted, I cry pretty easily).


Some out there in writing land have strange rituals. Share yours.

I am a tactile creator—meaning, when I do right brain creative stuff, I like tactile things as my brain works. Unfortunately, that means I eat when I’m writing.

To prevent the over-the-chair-spillage of my thighs, I picked up knitting. So, I knit a little (get the brain juices flowing), then write a little, then when I hit a roadblock I knit some more until I can put my knitting down and write more. It looks very strange, but it works for me.


What crayon in the box describes you on a good day?

Pink! Bad day? Pink! Which one do you aspire to be? Pink pink pink pink pink!



Pick one…..Pink iguana, purple cow, periwinkle giraffe. Which one and why? Can be negative or positive.

PINK! Because I loooooove pink. It’s a rebellion thing—my mother doesn’t like pink, she associates it with Barbie, so I never wore it when I was living at home. But recently I have come to realize that I love pink, and so now I wear and buy pink with abandon. I am reveling in my pinkness.

The iguana I could do without.


What period of history intrigues you the most?

Regency! I love reading Regency romances. Something about the elegance of the times, the sense of rebellion for a woman who marries for love instead of status or money, the political atmosphere with the Napoleonic War in the background—fodder for great romance!


What would you write if there were no rules or barriers? (epic novels about characters in the Bible, poetry, greeting cards, plays, movies, instruction manuals, etc.)

A six-part fantasy series. I’m totally not kidding—I wrote one book (it really sucks) and have the entire plot for a second (which isn’t as bad).


How does something worm its way into your heart? Through tears, truth, humor or other?

Through romance! My favorite books are romances: novels by Jane Austen, Betty Neels, Grace Livingston Hill, Norma Lee Clark, Mary Ann Gibbs. The happy ending always warms me and inspires me to think positively, to love my husband, to love God most of all.


Book, music, person, food you would take with you on a very long trip.

Book—whatever I happen to have as an ebook on my PDA, since I can’t bring as many books as I’d like in my suitcase. LOL
Music—audiobooks. Jane Austen, naturally, but also whatever strikes my fancy.
Person—preferably my husband, Captain Caffeine, but since I mostly travel to writer events, I’m usually flying solo.
Food—my mom makes these peanut butter rice crispy cranberry energy bars that are FABULOUS. They’re just the right size and I can pack them in my bag for a quick treat when I get hungry while at the airport or on a plane.


Where would you most like to travel ----- moon, north pole, deep seas, deserted island, the holy land or back to a place from your childhood, somewhere else? – and why.

The Holy Land—I want to see the places my Jesus walked. That would be so cool.


What is your favorite word?

NO. LOL I’m a rebel at heart.


Thanks for the colorful visit, Camy! Happy weekend, all.