Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Scribbles and Scrambles - Mall Madness

It only took me five hours to discover this tidbit of information. You get it in two seconds.

A mall is a mall no matter how big it is.

Deep, I know. I can’t help it. Poke me and great dregs of wisdom ooze.

My daughters and I spent Saturday at THE Mall of America. This is the world famous mall near Minneapolis. NOT to be confused with the Mall of THE AmericaS in Florida.

I gleaned this subtle distinction – well – because there was some confusion. We drove from Iowa to Mall of America Friday evening to catch a movie with some friends. I should’ve driven to Florida.

But then we didn’t find that out until after we saw the movie.

Note to readers and self. Look before you leap when ordering tickets on-line.

According to Wikipedia, The Mall of America is not the largest mall in the world or even the United States, but it’s definitely way bigger than anything we got going on in Iowa.

So, in light of that fact, and because we are girls, the mall topped our must-experience list.

We tried to keep the country out of our expressions, and I wouldn’t let the girls wear their corn hats. No identifying Iowa T-Shirts for any of us, either. Totally incognito, we managed the mall without embarrassing our host family. They read this blog so I’m sure I’ll hear otherwise if we did.

Minnesota really should grow coffee trees.

The mall houses at least three thousand coffee shops.
Unless they have a special coffee shop lane and we got lost and kept circling back. That’s possible. I don’t have a real strong sense of direction. Several other stores seemed eerily familiar also. Is Minnesota a leading state in cloning?

The good news, for us, is that the mall didn’t keep much of our money. Drool from open-mouthed zombie stares maybe, but not money.

Other than the creepy, suffocating sense of déjà vu, it was a positive cultural experience.

So, if you’re planning a visit, take comfortable shoes and watch for wet shiny spots on the floor. You don’t want to slip in tourist drool. And if you miss your favorite shop on one floor, travel another few miles, and you’ll find another one just like it.