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Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Presto-Chango...

The more things change, the more they stay the same.?.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. 

James 3:17
But the
wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
James 3:16-18 

Duncan is still pooping on the floor. Check. This has not changed. Even though he is using the outdoor facilities almost as often.

The girls still stop everything when it's time to make peanut butter sandwiches because they get to lick the "spoon".

Chocolate Covered Katie's Deep Dish Chocolate Chip Pie is delicious for dessert and for breakfast. 

No. These things have not changed.

My hair has. Drastically.

And there is a big decision in our future and Rob and I are praying for wisdom. After three and a half years we may be opening our home again to someone who needs us to. And it's really scary. I crave peace and my home is a place where that emotion reigns. Even when it's a mess (often), hurried/busy/harried (yep, often there, too), more often than not I breathe a sigh of contentment when I walk through my red front door. 

But, our home has not always been that haven. As a matter of fact it has been a battlefield.  And I remember having to put emotional armor on before walking through the door. The conflicts had grown subtly so that the intensity of the ugly didn't fully become apparent until the big battle ended with lots of casualties. In the absence of shells and bombs, we noticed that peace was creeping back in.
self portrait with crappy camera phone....new hair.

Our decision is probably already made. See the verse in James above. The details will need to be ironed out, decided and fully agreed upon. But our hearts are already longing for this to be the thing that helps and brings restoration and healing to a past combative, present tolerable relationship with our child. 

I have no idea what this new change is going to look like and what it's going to cost me. I am struggling with the concepts of helping vs enabling, toleration vs. acceptance, selfishness vs. what I know to be right, hope vs. fear. 

This week that the world touts Random Acts of Kindness...I feel very convicted that a deliberate act of kindness toward someone I love is required of me. 

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