I mentioned recently that I've been published...in book form. A real book. Yes. It's true.
The call came several months ago.
A search for housekeeping moments that should never see the light of day. Embarrasing and horrific seconds that seem like lifetimes when our faults and faux pas become visible.
I'm not content to be anonymous.
I want to own my messes. Actually I'd like to give them away, but these are funny as well as embarrasing. And other than the few folk who stumble into dregs by accident, we're all friends here.
So here it goes. The first story. Page 32 of The House That Cleans Itself
by Kelly Klepfer aka Corinne Z.
"My child's birthday party brought much work -- closets to clean, floors to scrub, clutter to hide. Hours later I had conquered it all. (I have this bizarre compulsion to clean everything if I'm going to clean anything.) The closets, gleaming and organized, brought tears of satisfaction to my eyes.
Until my father wandered in. According to him, the moment was so rare that he wanted to capture it on film. He ran back and got the video camera, and then he returned and began filming. In awe, he traveled from room to room, immortalizing the cleanliness on film -- all the while quipping sarcastic commentary.
Sigh. At least he noticed it was clean. "
If you are a long-term reader you will understand why I've named this post - Pat's revenge.
Come back tomorrow for my review of the book. And Thursday will reveal an even more horrific housekeeping moment.
Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.