Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
1. Forgive someone. Is there something you are hanging onto that just isn't worth hanging onto? Someone has said or done something that has hurt you. Is that hurt more important than the person? If it is, forgive it and let go of the relationship. If it isn't, do what you need to do to move beyond it and have peace about the fact that you are maybe going to see things differently and that it is okay to agree to disagree.
2. Look around you. Do you have difficult relationships because you have made a habit of assuming and reading into the behaviors of others? Sometimes people are just surviving. We can't know the burden that others carry. We can't read minds. Wouldn't it be awesome to decide to be honest in your communication? I could let my yes be yes and my no be no. I could ask someone what they mean when I don't understand what they are saying. I could ask someone who seems too busy for me or distant what's going on.
3. Write a note to important people in your life and tell them why they are important to you. Text, e-mail, Facebook it, whatever works for you.
4. Drop your expectations. It would be amazing if everyone processed information the way you do. Better yet, it would be amazing if you all thought the way I did. We'd all get along so well!!!!! : ). Expectations can be dishonest, manipulative and relationship killers. Expecting someone to read my mind, expecting someone to do things my way are controlling and manipulative. And expectations that I have for others to be better or more mature, or more able, or more like me are not loving. Those lead to frustration because we are all on learning curves. Our own unique learning curves where most of us need to learn things the hard way or over and over again. These expectations hurt our relationships because we generally don't actually tell people what our expectations are, or if we do, they are cloudy. Make this season, and this new year, a year of honesty where you tell people if you need or want something from them. And then give grace and mercy to them and be aware that what you hope and dream for that person, or what you want to see happen may hit a brick wall. Then go back to gift idea number 1 and reassess.
Relational peace is an amazing gift. Unconditional love is even better And forgiveness beats the heck out of a gift card.