Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.
Thursday, December 02, 2010
They suggest sharing the most romantic thing ever...
I've shared it before. Way back in 2007. But. I'll see if I can't make it more interesting.
When our kids were little, 24 was just a baby, I had a terrible nightmare. One of those where you wake up full of adrenaline and sorrow. The horror is still fresh and the awareness dawning that you are still in bed, and just awakening from a dream filters slowly into your consciousness leaving you weak with gratitude. One of those.
The dream had me on our town's viaduct. In reality this viaduct crosses train tracks and about eight blocks. In my dream it crossed the Missouri river. In reality, the Missouri river does flow just a few miles down the road, and several bridges cross it. In the dream the viaduct was slick. I was alone in the car with my two small children. Up ahead a train had derailed and broken through the viaduct so I slammed on the brakes to avoid the plunge into the river. Instead, silently, we sailed off the pavement and slammed into the icy water. Frantically I began to get the kids out of the car seats. Or I tried. Frigid water slowly started to fill the car as I struggled with clips. I woke as it reached the level of my children.
This was such a vivid nightmare that I wouldn't cross the river for weeks. And finally, I did, but I ran through a checklist of what to do in my mind, over and over again. And I'd hold my breath for the crossing.
One night Rob came home from work. He gave me a hug. And then he looked at me and said. " I know you hate crossing the river. So I just want you to know that I timed how long it takes to cross the bridge. It only takes 3 seconds."
Now why is this the most romantic thing in the world to me? Because in the middle of his day he thought about me. And he had listened to me when I shared my fears with him. And he knew that it still haunted me. And he cared enough to want to ease my mind.
This is one of the reasons I love this man. Call me crazy but a dozen perfect roses, candlelight and diamonds could never touch this one.