Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
A local doctor died recently. Young. Barely in his sixties and he had just retired due to his illness.
And his death has made me pause in the ebb and flow of activities of daily living.
He didn’t have a chance to fully enjoy the fruit of his labor. Medical school, interning, residency, continuing education, endless hours in and out of the hospital, being on call. I work for doctors. I wouldn’t want to be one. People have a stereotype that their lives are just an endless golf game and lying on the beach. Nope. They do not get paid enough. But I digress...
I don’t want my life to be ebb and flow of activities. I don’t want to put my living on hold while I attend to life.
These are the things that make me feel alive. And I want to fill (and feel) my days with them.
Being. With my family biological and chosen. There is nothing that fills my soul like my relationships with my near and dear ones. Being with them energizes me and helps me to face the days and the nights and the in-betweens. A hug, a word, an inside joke. A few handfuls of people who make my life rich.
Learning. Especially from God. But learning in general, too. I want to never stop being awed and overwhelmed by the things I don’t know.
Creativity. I just get in the do mode sometimes. Creativity makes me feel alive. I don’t want to just function. I want to add beauty.
Feeling. When something touches me, I want to respond. When the sunrise takes my breath away or the tangy autumn breeze wells up a gratitude within me...I want to respond to those feelings. When love overwhelms me I want to express it. When sorrow and loss darken my days, I want to feel those, too. I don't want to live from my feelings but I don't want to bury them beneath a plastic exterior of competency.
Is there something you are missing in your day-to-day activities? Do you need to laugh, cry, grab someone and hang on for a life-infusing hug? Do it.