Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Quote: (from Surprised by Worship Travis Cottrell)
"I find it interesting that we tend to base our beliefs regarding God's goodness and love on the nature of the surprises He gives us. As long as His surprises are happy ones, like birthday parties, we remain confident and secure: He really is good! He evidently loves me a lot! But all too often unwanted surprises have a way of turning our theology upside down."
I do...do...do...do hold God to a standard wherein He "LOVES me (insert balloons and teddy bears here) when I am getting exactly what I asked for...as long as it's good. But, I tend to doubt and pout when He gives me what I ask for by working that thing out in flesh squeezingly difficult moments of struggle.
Not only is this spot on, it's convicting.
I spent Saturday at a Beth Moore simulcast and her subject was convicting as well. (Her worship leader is the guy quoted above -- so you could maybe imagine that worship was rich, too.)
Her topic. Opening the mouth in wisdom and possessing the Law of Kindness upon my tongue.
Augh!!!! Why does He put up with me.?
Then I had two encounters today where I was blessed by the words of a friend. And I was GRACE STRUCK by the infinitesimally, magnificently massive workings of God behind the scenes, and how He answers prayers, even those prayed long ago. And I'm frustrated about being GRACE STRUCK because I want to just know that He listens, that He is good all the time, that He loves me.
Lord, forgive me because I am a sheep of very little brain. But then You already knew that...didn't you?