My fingers are frozen into little claws and my eyes are blurry. I’m exhausted. But the good kind of exhausted – the kind involving emotional second winds and naturally occurring endorphins. I’ve been making up for lost time.
Have you noticed how things we never knew we needed become absolutely necessary once we have them?
The DSL took a temporary powder yesterday. Two years ago I could take or leave the internet and the beauty of e-mail. One day, (what a nice way to describe about four months of transition and tension) my employer changed computer systems and installed DSL.
After we got this great system, I developed some car problems and ended up carpooling. I discovered the fun of staying after my shift and playing around.
I found a writing contest.
I’d written before, enjoyed it, and had even won a contest. So I began digging around to see what else was available. I entered three contests and didn’t even come close in any of them. But I found a group of like-minded people, and then opportunities to write, and sometimes even get paid for it.
Over the past two years I’ve put in an extra hour or two a day coming early, leaving late, or doing writing related things over lunch. I’ve even adjusted my flexible hours by shaving off time with each raise or change in tax status.
The DSL choosing to go MIA did not make me happy.
I use my e-mail program for works-in-progress and up-to-date storage because I can access it from home, work, and the coffee shop. But I couldn’t access it without the Internet.
I couldn’t post on Blogger, because I had no Internet.
Even productive writing didn’t work for me. I had a few ideas brewing for “spec” articles, but needed to do some research. Once again…..Internet.
I’d started a whole new way of thinking about the book I’m working on, and sent myself an e-mail with all the ideas I had before the whole DSL drama.
My brain cooperated like our moody Internet provider, it wouldn’t give up the information I needed either.
I’ve taken Google for granted. Google is my friend. And it is now officially a verb if you haven’t heard.
Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.