I survived my meeting of national importance.
I have to admit that I'm a bit disappointed. The "meeting" took place in a well-traveled public venue of my choosing.
My contact looked every inch undercover, right down to the braces.
The biggest thrill was the badge. You know how "they" flip their little leather badge cases at you when they want to "talk." This would probably right before they scream "FREEZE!" and definitely before a slug in the thigh throws you head over heels.
Anyhoo, the badge was flashed. My blood pressure rose, my breathing became shallow, my mouth a dry Sahara moment during the longest, hottest day of the year. I blinked too long, and the badge headed toward the briefcase.
I put up my hand. "Wait. I want to look at that."
Expensive black leather. Nice. I didn't even need to sniff it to see if it was really fine quality leather, the smoothness told the whole story.
I suppose they get a good deal buying them in bulk.
A little plastic window covered the bumpy three dimensional badge, nothing like the lousy stickers I've seen elsewhere.
Did I see anything resembling a firearm? No.
Did the questioner even flinch when I suggested I might tell people that I was tazered for not cooperating? No.
My brush with national security greatness and I didn't even get threatened.
But in spite of my disappointment - I did the right thing. National security was not compromised on my watch.
Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.