I may have had a click moment with the violin. You know, when something clicks in your brain and you think you "get it".
You know I'm struggling with "ain't got no rhythm" issues. Last week was even more of the same.
1 & 2 & 3 & 4 & seems to work with pacing those eighth notes and quarter notes. But. Then there is 3/4 time. I think that's a whole different animal. Kind of.
My teacher patiently explains things to me. I watch his lips move, I hear what he's saying. I nod like I get it and repeat things to myself to help me to remember what he's told me. I think he might be catching on because he has asked me at least once to tell him what I'll be working on in practice. But. While I'm listening/staring/repeating and thinking I'm still the equivalent to a cow looking at a new fence. My brain is accessing facts, like what's coming out of his mouth, but my mind is spinning out of control trying to interpret what he's saying into something I can understand. And basically I'm like, "Duh...what is this that the nice farmer put in my path? What do I do with it? Will it be my friend? And what's that over there?"
Practice time is either super frustrating while I attempt to remember and do, or exciting because I think I recognize the snippet of the song I'm attempting to play.
Last night I think I finally clicked with the 3 count. But I won't know til today when I attempt to play in front of him. Will I get an enthusiastic response or will he explain it to me like I'm a five year old? Yikes. That is the question.
Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.