Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Commitment is only as good as the choices I make that show my level.
I committed to several things in the six month Cut the Crapola thing. I reassessed and reconsidered some and stuck like glue to others. In the six months of prayer for six people whom God laid on my heart, I missed two days and spent some shallower days not knowing what and how to pray. But I prayed. And most of the time it was heart-felt, burdened prayer.
I won't be running a 5K next week. I didn't lose 20 lbs. But I am healthier today that I was a year ago, and five years ago.
I won't be playing at Carnegie Hall, but I did pick up the violin and squeak out notes that almost resemble a song and my fingers are remembering, a little bit, about the violin.
I reacquainted myself with knitting and spent hours on the task...not making intricate sweaters...yet...but I made several gifts and rediscovered the pleasure of multi-tasking with yarn.
My books aren't done. I have more outlined, though the book is not ripe and I'm content to let it ripen, and I put my toes back in the water with the one that I'm writing with my friend. I finished a project that was hanging over me, too.
I spent time reading books on the Christian life, focused on health and abundance of life, and what I've taken away from those can be summed up in Matthew 6: 32-34.
For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Seeking God is my primary need, and it's the commitment I need to measure all my other commitments against.