This has been another challenging week. I went in Monday to hear that two of my co-workers had been released from their positions on Friday. Some of their tasks landed squarely on my desk. Jobs
I don't do very often and have only a small amount of practice with, but, I'm grateful to have the added job security. I am very sad for my former co-workers and just shudder at the thought of finding a job in today's climate.
My kids are all immersed in raising their kids with various trials and struggles and their lives are sometimes just hard and stinky. Raising kids is not for those with week spines or stomachs. Can I just say that? Loving sometimes unlikeable, selfish human beings is rough. It takes a toll. I carry some of my kids feelings with me through life. I pray and I help when I can sometimes feeling that any tiny thing I might do is just not enough to give them real help.
Then there is just the reality of the physical realm around me. The house needs to be looked after, the laundry done, the hedgehogs need cleaned cages, the dogs need to go out and have play time. We have an empty apartment that is probably rented, but that means painting needs to be performed, and new windows installed and there are just not the hours in a day to do it. Oh and we are trying to beat the annual call from our tax preparer giving us the date and asking us if we are going to be filing an extension yet again. Just once I'd like to drop our info off before he calls us.
Our church is going through some transitions and changes. And being a leader in a church is taxing. As a leader you get to hear the complaints of the saints and see the inaction of a group of people who should be out there making a difference. And you get to find out the painful things going on in peoples' lives before the poo hits the fan. Loving people and serving them is a burden.
Life get really heavy sometimes. This morning I read this article. By Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist. He is the guy I ran across who inspired me to get rid of 1,000 things. I love to read his thoughts and the articles he shares every Saturday from resources around the world. Sometimes the articles are ones that inspire me to make a different choice, other times they are food for thought. But they are always valuable.
Today he posted about the unsung heroes who aren't in the limelight. But they are putting one foot in front of the other on a hard path full of obstacles. They are the ones who are making the world a little better for their small circle. http://www.becomingminimalist.com/bad-situation/
It reminded me that our attitudes can make or break us. And that we aren't alone when we've attached ourselves to Jesus. It reminded me that little things are valuable and we can keep going and doing life because life is hard but life is glorious, too. So very glorious. Take a look outside on this dreary day and remember that there is a sun up there shining even if you can't see it. Or that God Almighty loves you, even if you can't feel it. Or that life is a gift. Or look inside and do what you need to do today to get back the hope you need to carry on. Take a deep breath in and thank your Creator that you can. Or take a shallow breath and use it to cry out for His mercy yet again. Hang in there, Buddy. The sun is still there, you will see it soon. And God's mercies are new every morning...He doesn't run out of mercy.
Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.