This violin thing has been going on for two years. TWO YEARS. Granted, there's been progress, lots of it. But part of me feels like I should be symphony ready by now.
It helps when I hear musicians who are talented at their instruments say that they tried violin and gave up because it was so complicated, or that they were certain they couldn't pull it off because the dang thing doesn't have frets.
My last lesson included tears. (Mine, not his. ) Why did I cry? Pure frustration. The notes I wanted to hit would fall short of reaching the goal, my timing got wacky and then the song I was playing didn't even sound like a recognizable song. AUGH!
My teacher calmed me down. Okay. I wasn't ugly crying or wailing, just a few tears. He didn't have to threaten to call someone to intervene. But he said (hope it wasn't something said to crazy people to let them down easy, dang it!) that it's really good that I can hear that the music I'm wanting to make is not coming out of my violin. To differentiate my playing on a scale from really awful to only a few mistakes is a skill. And I'm developing it which means I'm going to get there.
Well, I'm sure not giving up now. One of these days. It's going to click. BTW Blogger ate half of this post. I thought it published this morning but not only did it not, it ate up some of what I had typed. Oh technology!
Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.