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Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Scribble and Scrambles - Monday Mime Meltdown

I just received a threat from a friend. The good-natured kind implying bodily harm if I do not update my blog.

Fine then, don’t let me bask in the cozy gray Iowa afternoon. Don’t let me continue to procrastinate as I am so wont to do.

What shall I write? Methinks my brain is squeezed and stretched from a too short weekend and the thoughts of the upcoming weekend that promises stress, churning stomach acid, angst and …did I say stress.

A double dose of stress? Yes. You may wonder what could possibly fill my weekend with extreme stress. Here it is. This is what I’ve done. I’ve accepted a speaking gig. “Why?” you might ask. Because I am prone to be a puppy when something sounds fun. And I felt honored to be asked. Lastly, it’s a topic God and I have worked on a bit in my own life. Guess what my topic is? Pressing On.

That sounds all good and lovely, but I’ve been doing a really great job of that lately (dripping with sarcasm). Oh, I can talk about stubborn. I have a wide streak of that, but pressing on sounds so Biblical and so above where I am currently at in my anemic walk with God.

Help! (the sound of hyperventilating) Did I mention that I do okay in public speaking? Once I get over the moment when I wrestle down the dry heaves. And my voice comes back to normal after the wibbly-wobbly “out of the gates” beginning.

People laugh at me when I talk but when they expect me to be funny…when they pay me to be funny it’s no laughing matter. What if I can’t do funny? What if a moment of melancholy wraps around me and smothers all the humor right out of me?

I gave them two pieces I’d written to promote the event. One was a deeply spiritual poem about falling into God, the other a piece on why I struggle with mimes. They chose the mimes. I do not feel funny today. Will I tomorrow? Will I Friday?

If any of you suggest I dress like a mime and do my segments without words we will not be amused.

There X-ta – or should I say Stress-ta…the blog is updated. Maybe I should start working on some speeches now.

1 comment:

Kim said...

Kelly, I would so love to hear you speak! You sound like a very, very pleasant person!

Pressing on is NOT easy!! God is surely dealing with me about that very thing, and quite frankly, it is not pleasant. However, Press On I must.

I will be praying that your speaking engagement is bathed in the Spirit, and that you will have great peace as you stand to deliver whatever God has laid upon your heart.

Blessings my friend!