Monday, April 23, 2007

Scribble and Scrambles - Warty Monograms and Motorcycle Cells

I left the office early Friday.

The beauty of flexible scheduling.

I drove around town with my windows down and the wind whipping my hair in my eyes. This is probably illegal, or at least a bad idea, but after seeing what I saw Thursday, I'm not too worried.

Thursday, I spied a man on a motorcycle. He was easy to see since he pulled out in front of me.

Guess what he was busy doing? Yep. Talking on a cellphone - did I mention he was riding as in driving a motorcycle - one of those things with two wheels and no protective aluminum or fiberglass shell?

While still on the phone, after pulling out in front of me, he turned into a grocery store parking lot.

This was impressive.

Maybe he's got one of those new "look, Ma! No hands!" motorcycles. He didn't use his turn signal. I suppose he didn't want to upset his equilibrium.

While I drove Friday with the whipping frenzy of my hair and bits of grit from the street exfoliating my face, I noticed something else that bugged me.

Bugs me - in present tense -- almost every time I drive past.

Someone built a huge luxury mansion on the top of one of our town's many hills. They installed gates over the driveway and graveled the banks on either side of the gates. A worker, a landscape artist no doubt, painstakingly smoothed the pinkish gravel into a flat sea of weed-free yard and then crafted a perfect six foot letter.

A gravel monogram.

But this was over a year ago, and shortly after this artistic and tasteful yard-styling, someone or something knocked some of the white gravel outside of it's little barrier and the huge letter now has a blurry growth.

There is a wart on the monogram. A hairy wart. And no one has fixed it.

Do you suppose I could be arrested for trespassing if I sneak over some night and repair it?

Hey, maybe they are trying to capture an anal-retentive Sasquatch. I hadn't thought of that.

6 comments:

Kristi Herbranson said...

If the people had enough the finances for a gravel monogram, you'd think money would not be an object in repairing it. Maybe you should offer your services and make a buck or two. That way, it'd be fixed, you wouldn't get arrested, and your wallet would be a little thicker.

Heather Smith said...

Okay, I'm glad I don't have to pass by that everyday because I would totally join you on the repair manuevers! I mean why go to all that trouble if you aren't gonna keep it up! I've missed reading your quirky thoughts girl! Hopefully I'll be able to stop by more in the next few weeks before flying off to Honduras!

batgirl said...

Kelly, soon I'm going to post on my own cell phone confession. not today though. hey, my hubby landscapes. I'll tell him about gravel monograms:)

shannon said...

You made me laugh, Kelly. I'm right there with you. I've actually weeded the sidewalk-hugging beds of strangers while out on a walk. Sometimes you can't help yourself.

Hey! Thanks for your comments on my blog lately. I haven't had one second to get out visiting prior to now, but I did want to say thank you. You blessed me. :)

Jordanius said...

Perhaps the owner of the mansion you are describing is now living in one of their other homes - in Florida. And maybe proxy of the house has allowed the monogram to enter its state of disorder because they regularly entertain friends who think that the house belongs to them.

Scrambled Dregs said...

Obviously, I've started a great debate here. I so appreciate all the comments and suggestions.

If I choose to follow up - I'll let you all know. Maybe I could start a yard monogram cleaning side business.