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Change. I've learned to embrace it, ride it out til the end. Sometimes I'm kicking and screaming, other times weeping with my eyes clinched tight. Once in awhile I ride like a dog in a car, head out the window snorting what life has to offer. Mother to young adult children, a marriage of thirty years, and a desert to mountain to valley waltz with God have shaped me into someone I never imagined I'd be. Life is short and I want to live it. Tears, sighs, laughter and change. Every morsel granted to me. Scrambled, shaken or stirred.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Scribbles and Scrambles -Livin' It

A patient of mine convicted me today.

I hate that.

He didn’t really convict me but what he said did which is even worse because I didn’t get to respond with an “ouch” and recoil so he had to carry guilt around all day.

I called his name and asked him how he was doing. One of those mindless, polite conversations where you expect the person to respond, “good, and you?”

He responded. “Livin’ the dream.”

I laughed. Sarcasm and dry delivery happen to be a couple of my favorite things.

But then his answer swirled around in my thoughts and I began to wrestle with them. Why do I not consider my life to be “livin’ the dream?”

I am. Really.

For starters, I live in the land of the free and home of the brave – the land of opportunity. I understand the concept of fun money, own a microwave and take indoor plumbing for granted about a hundred times a day.

My husband and I though flirting with the abyss early on didn’t plunge over. Our family is intact and a source of joy. Our son is married and doing well. Our middle daughter is delightful, and our baby is growing and learning and turning into a terrific human being.

We have a roof over our heads. And when tidied up and with low light it’s a wonderful place to live. As long as we keep the senile cat away from the open flame of a candle or keep the candle away from dust bunnies, that is.

So why did the comment trigger a snort?

Granted, the sound of foreclosures and the crashing waves of our dying rental business is an albatross we’ll carry a few more years. Chronic pain from the arthritis that has attacked my active husband remains a concern. And the unknown future of our three children is something we take often to the Lord.

But the bottom line is…I am living the dream. No matter what happens here, I have hope in God’s promises. I’m living beyond the dream. I’m livin’ blessed.

I hope you are, too.


Janet Rubin said...

Thank you, Kelly. Before signing on, I was fretting because all of my Christmas splurging has left me short of cash. Dave gets paid tomorrow, but after paying the morgage, I'll have like $20 for food for 2 weeks. Oops. Visa, here I come. And I've been tiptoeing around a stressed out grumpy husband for a few days. Okay, since this is probably not appropriate blog comment material, I'll get to the point. I am blessed too. In so many ways. Thank you for directing my brain back to those things- husband (albeit grumpy), daughters, a home, wonderful (on-line and off), a really great church, nice doggies, books, the ocean... and most of all, and undying hope of heaven.

Anonymous said...

Great post! It's great to remember that no matter what we are blessed. Even if things look bad, we are still blessed because we are living, breathing, able to walk, talk, sing, etc. Thanks for the reminder, Kelly!