Well, good news and bad.
My epiphany was kind of, really, an epiphany.
My counting discovery that the one, two, three, four or one &, two &, three &, four & can also become simply one, two, three, one, two, three.
However, one is supposed to actually play the notes like that...one, two, three. Playing my practice pieces revealed that I was counting one, two, THREEEEEEEE. one... which gives the songs a lovely wheeze.
So. We did some clapping. And some breaking sections down into tiny little three note segments.
When he was somewhat satisfied that I could indeed clap one, two, three and play three notes in a row, he thought he'd tackle my self-confidence.
Trust me, self-confidence and the violin are not comfortable friends. The violin definitely lets me know immediately when it's not happy with me. I guess I could call it a hypercritical little thing.
However, Mr. Teacher said that making faces when I hit a sour note, or cringing when I poise to play, or laughing my way through a dismal, mistake-filled performance all scream that I don't believe I can master this little, wooden beast. Can you imagine the message I'd send if I did actually toss my cookies on his shoes?
So, he played a little game with me. Told me to pretend that he was a Donald Trumplike entity and he could make or break my career. But that he knew nothing about music. I was supposed to play 5 measures of this simple little song as if I was nailing and had nailed it. Because he wouldn't know any difference since he was music illiterate and the only way he'd know something was wrong was if I gave him non-verbal clues.
I reverted to a childhood tactic (real story) and asked if I could play from the hallway. He asked me if I'd ask that of Donald Trump. I said I would because I couldn't possibly play in the same room as the hair. I got a look, then I played. And I cringed through the entire thing. It was wicked awful. I peeked over at him. He told me Donald Trump fired me and told me a story about confidence being as important or even more important than skill or talent. He also told me that a perfect performance is almost impossible to pull off. No matter how much practice, preparation, talent and skill, there are so many things that can go wrong that perfection is so not going to happen. Amazingly, perfection or lack of, is not even going to be noticed by the average music lover. What they will notice is my lack of confidence.
So. There you go. Counting and confidence. On my to-do-list.
Lightly grease 9 x 13 pan. Preheat oven to 350.
Blondie:
1/2 Cup softened coconut oil
1/2 Cup sugar
1/2 Cup (heavy) vanilla protein powder (Arbonne)
2 TBSP ground flax seed
3 bananas
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp cinnamon
2 Cups flour
3 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 Cup chopped pecans
1/2 Cup almond milk
1/2 tsp lemon juice
Instructions: Place almond milk in a bowl and add the lemon juice. Let sit a minute until the milk begins to curdle. Add the ground flax and stir and allow it to gel a bit.
In another bowl cream together sugar, protein powder, coconut oil and bananas. When mixed well add cinnamon, vanilla, salt and baking powder. Add the milk/flax mixture. Finally add the flour and stir well.
Bake at 350 for 30 minutes.
Topping:
1/2 Cup chopped pecans
3 chopped bananas
1 Cup brown sugar
3/4 tsp cinnamon
In a pan toss chopped pecans and heat, slice the bananas into the pan. When heated, add the sugar and cinnamon. Stir over medium heat until sugar begins to caramelize.
Pour/spread the banana mixture over the blondies.
I may have had a click moment with the violin. You know, when something clicks in your brain and you think you "get it".
Or not.
You know I'm struggling with "ain't got no rhythm" issues. Last week was even more of the same.
1 & 2 & 3 & 4 & seems to work with pacing those eighth notes and quarter notes. But. Then there is 3/4 time. I think that's a whole different animal. Kind of.
My teacher patiently explains things to me. I watch his lips move, I hear what he's saying. I nod like I get it and repeat things to myself to help me to remember what he's told me. I think he might be catching on because he has asked me at least once to tell him what I'll be working on in practice. But. While I'm listening/staring/repeating and thinking I'm still the equivalent to a cow looking at a new fence. My brain is accessing facts, like what's coming out of his mouth, but my mind is spinning out of control trying to interpret what he's saying into something I can understand. And basically I'm like, "Duh...what is this that the nice farmer put in my path? What do I do with it? Will it be my friend? And what's that over there?"
Practice time is either super frustrating while I attempt to remember and do, or exciting because I think I recognize the snippet of the song I'm attempting to play.
Last night I think I finally clicked with the 3 count. But I won't know til today when I attempt to play in front of him. Will I get an enthusiastic response or will he explain it to me like I'm a five year old? Yikes. That is the question.
Don't think the things you say and do have an impact on others ripple-tidal wave style?
We had a local Arbonne training meeting on Saturday where we met some people we hadn't met before.
One of them, Rachel, grabbed hold of &'s arm and started chatting. In the realm of Facebook, we have the ability to get to know a little bit about people without ever actually meeting them. Sometimes good...sometimes scary. Right?
They chatted a bit and talked about running. & is running a 1/2 marathon next month and has been conditioning. That little bugger can run 8 miles and live to tell about it. Whew. Huge accomplishment. But I digress.
Rachel is a runner and she said a few years ago she was running in Colorado. The altitude and the distance snuck up on her and she got overheated. There was a convenience store and she stopped. She said she could see her reflection in the glass as she opened the door and that she looked like she was in trouble. Runners usually don't carry cash.
She asked for a cup of water. And was turned away. Really?
Fast forward to a few years later. She's in our city, running with a friend. They get near &s coffee shop and the heat starts kicking their hind-ends. Rachel began to feel overheated and her friend noticed her color turning to red. The friend suggested they run across the street and ask for some water. Rachel said she'd never have gone by herself after her encounter in Colorado. But with a friend she felt a little more supported.
They walked in. Asked for water. & was working. And Rachel said, "Not only did you get me water, you smiled, filled the cup with ice, offered refills until we were ready to go, and talked to us like we mattered."
Rachel then went on to say, "We don't buy ice cream or coffee anywhere else now, Tazza has our loyalty. And I'll never, never shop at a ___name of convenient store chain_____ again.
One cup of water.
One tiny act of kindness, actually, more like an act of simple human connection.
Be that glass of water in your world today. Bring refreshment, comfort and hope.
I'm a little snobby about bananas.
The texture and peel color have to be just right for me to crack one open and scarf it.
Just a shade too ripe and the whole experience is ruined for me.
I also hate banana flavoring.
Last night, & invited Rob and I to her apartment for supper. Yum. I think this needs to be a weekly occurrence.
For dessert she decided to whip up a version of McFosters celestial banana and serve it over ice cream.
See the top few statements. Meh. I thought.
Oh my! She tossed some Earth Balance into a hot pan. Chunked some bananas and threw them in. Sprinkled brown sugar over them and Vietnamese cinnamon over that. And cooked it until the sugar and Earth Balance formed a caramel.
Needless to say, I'll have an exact recipe very soon. Right now, I'm planning to whip up a banana brunch cake with caramelized banana topping. Hello!
Apple Cinnamon Protein Cupcake Muffins
Makes 15 -16 Muffins. 22 Minutes at 350. (40ish mini-muffins bake 14 min at 350)
1 3/4 cups all whole wheat pastry flour
3/4 cup vegan cane sugar
1/2 cup vanilla protein powder (Arbonne, is highly recommended)
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup non dairy milk
1 tsp lemon juice
2 TBSP ground flax seed
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon
1 Cup applesauce
Preheat the oven to 350. Line or lightly grease the muffin tins. Place milk in a container and add lemon juice. When milk begins to curdle add ground flax and stir. Let sit while you do the rest of the prep, It will begin to gel and replaces eggs.
In a large bowl place the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt and
cinnamon. Mix with a fork.
Add the milk/flax/lemon juice mixture, applesauce and vanilla. Stir until blended.
Fill the muffin tins or cupcake wrappers about 2/3's full.
Bake for 22 minutes. Let cool. Makes about 40 mini muffins. Bake them for approx 14 minutes.
Seems little tiny details really do make a difference when playing the violin.
Like knowing where your fingers are supposed to go. A teeny bit up or down and not good. Then there's timing...you all know about my whole rhythm ridiculousness...well, I think I figured something out.
My teacher explained it to me again, for the tenth time, maybe twentieth, and I think I understand, kind of.
In my book there was a little section when I started learning eighth notes that had 1 & 2 & 3 & 4 & underneath the score. And it said I should count those out loud while playing. Well, I didn't. I had enough trouble just counting 1 2 3 4. I thought I couldn't add the &, too. And still learn the crazy-backwards-but-not-really G string. So I kept kinda counting 1 2 3 4. What difference would it make and why clutter up the simple tap, tap, tap, tap of 1 2 3 4? And, of course, I didn't ask my teacher. Though I'm sure he appreciated that there was one thing I didn't ask him to explain again. He probably assumed that though I'm slow, I was still trying to obey the basic, iron clad rules.
Now. I maybe got away with this for a bit. There were the few times he nailed me for not actually counting because he could tell by my note issues that I was a bit off. He can tell by my behavior issues that I'm a lot off, but that's another story.
Turns out, that 1, 2, 3, 4 isn't necessarily how I was supposed to be counting. I'm supposed to count the lowest denominator of notes. So if a piece has eighth, quarter and half notes, I need to count 1 & 2 & 3 & 4 because the eighth notes follow that pattern and nail number and & and the quarter notes hit on the number and play through the &. Hello!
So life lesson. Little things do matter. They add up and make the musical score that follows us through life. I don't want to screech or be three clicks forward or two clicks behind all the folks playing alongside of me. For reals.
