Scribbles and Scrambles ~ A Little Midweek Boost

This has been another challenging week. I went in Monday to hear that two of my co-workers had been released from their positions on Friday. Some of their tasks landed squarely on my desk. Jobs

I don't do very often and have only a small amount of practice with, but, I'm grateful to have the added job security. I am very sad for my former co-workers and just shudder at the thought of finding a job in today's climate.  

My kids are all immersed in raising their kids with various trials and struggles and their lives are sometimes just hard and stinky. Raising kids is not for those with week spines or stomachs. Can I just say that? Loving sometimes unlikeable, selfish human beings is rough. It takes a toll. I carry some of my kids feelings with me through life. I pray and I help when I can sometimes feeling that any tiny thing I might do is just not enough to give them real help. 

Then there is just the reality of the physical realm around me. The house needs to be looked after, the laundry done, the hedgehogs need cleaned cages, the dogs need to go out and have play time. We have an empty apartment that is probably rented, but that means painting needs to be performed, and new windows installed and there are just not the hours in a day to do it. Oh and we are trying to beat the annual call from our tax preparer giving us the date and asking us if we are going to be filing an extension yet again. Just once I'd like to drop our info off before he calls us. 

Our church is going through some transitions and changes. And being a leader in a church is taxing. As a leader you get to hear the complaints of the saints and see the inaction of a group of people who should be out there making a difference. And you get to find out the painful things going on in peoples' lives before the poo hits the fan. Loving people and serving them is a burden. 

Life get really heavy sometimes.  This morning I read this article. By Joshua Becker of Becoming Minimalist. He is the guy I ran across who inspired me to get rid of 1,000 things. I love to read his thoughts and the articles he shares every Saturday from resources around the world. Sometimes the articles are ones that inspire me to make a different choice, other times they are food for thought. But they are always valuable. 

Today he posted about the unsung heroes who aren't in the limelight. But they are putting one foot in front of the other on a hard path full of obstacles. They are the ones who are making the world a little better for their small circle. http://www.becomingminimalist.com/bad-situation/

It reminded me that our attitudes can make or break us. And that we aren't alone when we've attached ourselves to Jesus. It reminded me that little things are valuable and we can keep going and doing life because life is hard but life is glorious, too. So very glorious. Take a look outside on this dreary day and remember that there is a sun up there shining even if you can't see it. Or that God Almighty loves you, even if you can't feel it. Or that life is a gift. Or look inside and do what you need to do today to get back the hope you need to carry on. Take a deep breath in and thank your Creator that you can. Or take a shallow breath and use it to cry out for His mercy yet again. Hang in there, Buddy. The sun is still there, you will see it soon. And God's mercies are new every morning...He doesn't run out of mercy. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Social Misfit

Man. Sometimes I just have to close my eyes and cover my ears. Does what you absorb on social media affect you that way? Of course its not just social media. It is media in general. It is society in general. 

Bad news, sad news, defeating news, all massaged to fit into a sound bite or an agenda. Likely both. 

People being proud to be "right" while trampling and labeling and crushing those who don't agree. Screaming accusations about the intelligence of lack thereof and even about the commenters mother. 

Even simple or sweet stories get the comments. 

My daughter belongs to a mom group of Facebook that has to delete posts and or remove members for being divisive and unkind. Folks are offended greatly by breast-feeding and don't hesitate to share their opinions, others are horrified that someone's kid is in public school. 

Maybe we've always been like that. After all gossip is as old as time. Maybe the problem is that now those who have made snide comments, or passive aggressive assaults have a bigger platform. And for some reason their opinion must be heard by thousands in order to find validation for the unloving, sniveling thoughts dancing through their heads. Christmas-sugar-plum-dreams morphed into festering rotten produce. The Grinch's huge heart shrinking into smaller and meaner than before. The more they find engagement on social media the more maggotized their thoughts get and the more their thoughts appear to be alive through the movement of the decaying process. UGH!

So on this Tuesday, officially a spring day, here are some uplifting moments. Thanks Bored Panda. 

http://www.boredpanda.com/cute-smiling-happy-quokkas/

http://www.boredpanda.com/cute-rabbit-succulents-monilaria-obconica/

http://www.boredpanda.com/sorcery-visual-effects-2venezolanos/

Just don't read the comments. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Presto Chango

Apparently, my life theme this year is change. Oh, wait, maybe that was last year's theme and it's oozing over into 2017.

Regardless That's my word. Change. Did you know it's trendy to have a word define you this year? And who doesn't want to be like all the cool kids? Finally, as we finish the 2nd month of the year I've found my theme word.

I mean I like change. I really do. Boredom gets to me. I like to shift and learn and rearrange things to keep them interesting.

To a certain degree.

One environment at a time.

Today I go to my job and then get to walk over to another clinic and get trained on equipment I've never laid eyes on. Our independent small clinic was purchased by a LARGE entity that has many locations. My x-ray equipment of 15 years is being phased out because it's becoming a dinosaur. And I will be an extra and floating tech in the other clinics in my realm that have x-ray equipment. YIKES! These clinics take lots of different x-rays. I've literally been shooting the same body part since I left my training days twenty years ago. I wouldn't know how to position an ankle at this point even if it came with Ikea style instructions. (That's supposed to be funny, so laugh, please. I am and I hate to laugh alone.) Can we all scream LEARNING CURVE?

Church. Yep. Change there, too. BIG CHANGE. We have rearranged our Sunday morning activities to make room for a church three times our size to use our facility. And we overlap a bit. Or a lot. And their aesthetic is different. Not their doctrine, though. And it's so great our facility is getting abundant use, but there's a wee bit of adjustment. Tweaks of space and attitudes. Challenges.

Home. Ha. An adult daughter and an almost 18-month-old refilled our empty nest. Change. So great. So fun. So doubling our house size and opinions and needs.

These are mostly amazingly rich changes. They really are. I'm getting better benefits, literally and figuratively. I'm benefiting from having my world stretched. I don't want or need my world to revolve around the things I have shaped into my safe havens or built a box around. I do want my faith stretched, my mind stretched and my self stretched. I want to live my life with hands wide open and heart engaged. Change will stretch me and grow me.

What I have learned while navigating so far into this sea or uncertainty:

One step at a time. One day at a time. One minute at a time. There will be interruptions. There will be stress and pressure and sometimes overwhelming urges to scream and pull hair. (Mine and others....not even kidding. But I am laughing.)  But if I can breathe through this minute. Communicate that I literally need a minute to breathe and process, I'm going to be okay. It's all going to be okay. I will be glad of all of these changes. They are challenges that will make me a more fulfilled and better human being if I chose to let them do just that! 

I can control my attitude if I can control nothing else. Panicked people react. I can choose to think it through and process those tiny details before I blurt things out or make huge statements that are impossible to unsay. 

Much of what is happening is transitional dust and debris. There appears to be more change than there actually is. Much of what is going on can be labeled "This too shall pass" and it will.

So there we go. What are you learning? What's your chosen or assigned word of the year? 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Current Affairs Part 2

Sometimes hiding from trolls is a good idea. 

Yesterday was about big pockets and corporate nastiness taking advantage of the little guy just trying to make a living. 

Today. Politics. And the tension in every city in every state and nation. Racial, religious, political. Our world is a hot mess. 

Anyone with access to technology and social media can spew hate. Or stalk. Or rip down and destroy.  Free speech in America gives voice to every oddball thought and bigoted hatred or attention seeking narcissist. These are my opinions, shared through a simple wifi connection and a used Mac. If I chose to I could wallpaper Facebook, tweet my brains out and Instagram the crap out of my opinion.

But I choose to limit my comments and limit what I allow my mind to ruminate on. 

Fear and bitterness are two deadly poisons. Bingeing on them with endless streaming horrible news feeds and opinion pieces and polarizing dogma is going to result in more explosive thunder claps of bad news and reactionary knee jerks. 

Ignorance is not bliss. But neither is immersing ourselves in the cesspool of trolls or fear mongers. 

Vote your conscience. Pray for America, for the world, for victims and families touched by tragedy. Be kind. Be respectful. Set boundaries. Go outside and smell the roses. (Or watch three puppy or cat videos for every political cartoon ummm I mean commercial.)  Things may not be getting better but that doesn't have to mean Hell reigns on earth or the Zombie Apocalypse is imminent. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Too Many, Too Much...

I'm counting my blessings. If you need help identifying yours here's a few suggestions.

The little people in your life.

The older, wiser people you respect.

Fur babies who look to you for all their care and need-meeting.  And respond by licking your hand, staring at you while you sleep, leaping with joy at the door, or ignoring you.


Health. Or life. Or even just that next breath.

Family, or friends who have become your family.

Warmth. Whether its a roof over your head, a used parka, or in a smile.

Money in any form to meet your expenses.

The Thanksgiving meal whether it's turkey or not, whether it's in your home or someone else's, even if it's in a hospital spent with someone who cares, or alone knowing that God loves you.

The point is to remember how very much we have. And ultimately to remember that God is an intimate God Who loves us and wants a relationship with us. 

I hope your Thanksgiving is filled with too many blessings to count. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Life Lesson #5

It's been gifted to us. We have some ownership over it. And we have a huge responsibility to not waste it. 

What is living life, Alex? 

Yes. My number #5 is that life is given to be lived. Embraced. Wrestled into submission. Owned. Whatever that looks like for each individual person, or not, life is a GIFT. 

Working in health care has introduced me to a whole lot of different people personalities and commonalities.  My 90 something patients that come in to see the doctor are more likely than not fully confident in their state of being. They actively pursue their interests and vehemently refuse to compromise. I think those who reach way up there on the age chart are those who are stubborn enough to stand firm on what they believe and feisty enough to tell it like it is, in their "humble opinion" at least.  Not that all 90+ have lived their lives giving, loving and being a blessing...nope...my friend's 90+ year old mom is a piece of work who just keeps on a ticking. But. I'm guessing my friend's mom will more than likely be stubborn and argumentative until the day she breathes her last. But it might be that stubborn spirit that is the key. So many compromise, lay down, give up and concede. Whether the war of life overcomes them, or treading water in someone else's expectations, they give up, give in. 

The past fews years have become transitional for Rob and I. The kids are out of the house, we are alone for the first time since early marriage and are discovering exactly what being alone means. Then we became Beagle parents, then overnight grandparents to three. I've found myself growing more and more stubborn and outspoken. I'm no longer trying to be nice and just get along, when that means compromising on something that is important to me.  I've struggled through music lessons that still haven't made me a comfortable musician but dang it, I'm stinking trying. I'm less inclined to play the game of growing a readership even though I have some platforms to do so. I'm still cooking and creating but sharing less because that's just a part of me and either I've done what I set out to do for me and mine or others do it better. 

There are so many parts of me.  I want to be authentic and real. And I think it's okay for me to admit that I have very few answers. And spouting off religious or popular platitudes isn't what I want to offer to the world. I want to tell the truth, maybe truth you don't agree with, but that's okay. I want to grow and embrace the relationships I have with my kids and their kids. I want to not play church but be part of the church, the one that changes lives. I don't want to give all my energy to crap. That way I have the energy required for someone else's need. More that half my life is over. I want to live it well and I want to wring all the life and love and joy out of it. When I'm dead, I want there to be a clearly empty shell of a life lived to the fullest. And I want the lingering fragrance of my life to be that of sunshine and rain and hope and love. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Life Lesson #4

#4 One of the biggies I've figured out, or caught or at-this-second understand is that I cannot live anyone else's life.

This is empowering and terrifying. I can't will, manipulate, shape, or pray anyone I love into being someone I wish they'd become. (Note...I said I can't, doesn't mean I haven't exhausted myself trying, ya know?)

My husband answers for himself, bears his own consequences (which are often shared with me and filed under number 9 in the marriage vows).

Our son and his wife are financially light years ahead of us when we were their age and kinda, for the most part, now. He didn't get that from our example.

Our oldest kids are spiritually discerning and mature, again far beyond who we were and what we grasped at their age. Again, not caught from our pristine example.

One kid went to college and now teaches and is so good at what he does. Another tried a class or two and works with her hands bringing joy and caffeine through the art of coffee roasting. The other just became a mommy and has embraced breast feeding and child nurturing way beyond what I ever expected.

Two of three of our kids have tattoos, one of them even has a sleeve. One of our children had to go through a lot of hell on earth to learn some basic truths. Two of the three children we've had the blessing of raising into adulthood have given homes (or are preparing to) to kids in need of a safe and secure place to grow. The other is a stepmom who loves her little guy bunches. These kids of mine give their hearts away over and over to people. 

Each of our kids is a curious and delightful blend of genetics, nature and nurture. And I don't know that I could be any prouder or feel more blessed that they are in my life. And had I been able to shape them into people who I thought they should be the world would have lost out. My kids are who they are because they aren't an extension of me. They weren't mine to sculpt, shape maybe, but not sculpt. These human gifts were only for me to take care of for awhile, never meant for my use or keeps. The blessing of their presence in my life on any level is beyond payment enough. 

And, at 53 I have come to the realization that loving HURTS. And there is no absolute security in any earthly relationship. That those we invest in, try to train, pour into, love and love and love, have choices and sometimes those choices might break our hearts.

But there is hope even then. (I have proof, powerful proof in my life and these have become Ebenezer stones where I can look back and say "God was with me then, and I know He's with me still.) The responsibility I have is to speak truth, love as and beyond I am able, to set boundaries if needed, forgive and hope. Even in the hardest of cases, there is always the hope I have in Jesus. Since He's proven Himself to me I am able to rest in the knowledge that I am not the king (or queen) of anyone's universe, and I'm good with that.

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Life Lesson #3

# 3 I try to focus on the the Whatevers.

I'm prone to be a Pollyanna. Really I am. And I've decided to embrace that. Because when I plunge into the black swirls of melancholy that lie in wait, I am miserable. Cynicism, hopelessness, greed, jealousy, bitterness...I've been there and those attitudes are tight blister-gnawing shoes to wear for even a few minutes.

I know that being uninformed of the current events around us can make us seem self-absorbed or simple-minded to our peers. But when the focus on current events causes fearfulness or hopelessness doesn't it become self-absorbtion? Or single focused. Some who spend hours gleaning the bad news of the fallenness of humanity use it to accost others with dark and pessimistic facts, or use their knowledge to argue and debate.

I know there are horrific things that happen all around us. I know that goodness has limits and seemingly evil does not. Three of my grand babies are mine through foster care. I have friends who've lost someone too early and have seen mean-spirited people live long and hurt those around them. Darkness had its way with my family and my life for far too many years. I'm not sheltered. I hear, I see, I know that evil exists. But knowing doesn't mean dwelling, sleeping, drinking and steeping in heart shuddering news.

My whatever isn't denial. It's scriptural and hopeful. 

Philippians 4:8Living Bible (TLB)

8 And now, brothers, as I close this letter, let me say this one more thing: Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.

These things to think on are characteristics of God. And God loves people, and He gives hope, and He gives life.

So, if I choose to not watch three hours of news but choose silly animal videos or pictures of babies, or just things that make me laugh, maybe that makes me simple. But I like simple so much more than depressed.

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Life Lessons #2

#2 Focus on and glorify what I am for rather than what I am against.

This seems like a strange one in the lessons of life I've picked up in 53 years of living it. And it's kind of a recent one. 

I've always had trouble with big mouth Bible thumper "Christians" (the quotation marks are because I don't believe most of them are). I think now it's because the tactics they use when thumping that embossed leather cover of their well used Bibles are not telling the truth about God. 

The word glorify is so religious speak but it comes down to telling the truth about something. 

Like taking an accurate news video rather than tweaking and enhancing and adding some creative filters, sound effects or narrowing the focus to change the picture. We all know about airbrushing and have likely seen the videos of how much airbrushing changes the looks of a normal person into an unattainable cartoonish ideal. Or one recent photo spread that showed the whole picture in photos that seemed to share one thing but in reality did not. The sleeping beauty style photo showed the full picture including her selfie arm holding her phone reflected in the mirror. Or the couple standing on the beach that was really just a billboard behind them. Bible thumpers or grace riders (those who look at grace as sweet ocean waves there just to keep covering those fun sins so they don't have to feel bad about their choices) do the same thing with God as those folks who do the creative cropping. They don't tell the whole story and by doing so they mislead and dare I say it? Lie. 

I can not live my life hyper focused on either the free grace or the righteous judge part of God without considering that there are both of those in Him. And that there are hundreds and thousands and millions more things about Him that no one understands. 

I want to live my life glorifying God by being able to say I don't know when I don't. I am not going to hate someone for having different opinions. Because I'm responsible for my actions, my relationship with God and my obeying and being true to what I have been given the insight and wisdom to believe in. I'm going to focus on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith. Not only am I told to do so, but it's where I am able to see the reality around me for what it really is. In the light of the Son I can see other people as humans struggling along and learning as they go and dearly in need of a Savior. I am for Christ. I am for life. I am for hope, peace, love, forgiveness, joy, kindness, gentleness, self-control, patience, faithfulness. Life is too short to spend pointing out failings and weaknesses and errors just so I don't have to own up to my own.

glo·ri·fy
[ˈglôrəˌfī]

VERB
1) reveal or make clearer the glory of (God) by one's actions: "God can be glorified through a life of scholarship"
2) describe or represent as admirable, especially unjustifiably or undeservedly: "a football video glorifying violence"
synonyms: ennoble · exalt · elevate · dignify · enhance · augment ·

Powered by Oxford Dictionaries · © Oxford University Press

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ 5.3 #1

5.3 things I've learned about life in 53 years.

#1 There aren't many shortcuts. Of all the interests I've pursued I can honestly say its those tiny baby steps that get us down the road, up the hill, or around the bend. Sure, some people seem to be more naturally talented in areas. But even natural talent needs the fine grit sandpaper to finish the work. And that's tedious. Oh so tedious. To become good at something requires pain and repetition, trial and error, failing and try, try againing.

Value comes in the practice, the trading of time, blood, sweat and tears. If something comes too easily, it can become a burden or resentment or even a curse. Think of money inherited or won. Or genius artists who descend into darkness. 

I'm not trying to overthink or overgeneralize. But, bottom line, everything that has cost me time, sacrifice and trouble is often the thing that becomes very rewarding once I get over the hump. Take into account the different way our brains work this is going to look so different for each person. When I took training on Bible study I remember slaving away at taking the verses apart and looking for the obvious meaning and the historical context, different cultures and language nuances. I had to write everything out just to help my mind absorb. One of the instructors kind of shook her head and said "you are doing way too much work" and I just shrugged because it was work I needed to put in. While I was struggling, God was writing a lot of that scripture on my heart. I began to understand things I have never even considered, and began to be able to find connections and aha moments left and right. Even now, after not teaching heavy inductive studies for years, I have a grasp of the Bible I wouldn't have any other way. And I wouldn't trade that season for anything. 

For me, and this is my stinking blog...haha, whether it's music (still working on that by the way) cooking, art, raising children (or puppies...I say puppies because cats are not trained, they are trainers), sticking with relationships that are important, writing, wellness, wisdom, these paths have cost me. And I was naive in my tiny, stick figure goals in each of these areas, and as the steps unfolded in front of me the dream/goal/reward grew bigger. 

My dreams/skills/hopes/experiences are still morphing as I write this. 

.3 in action. 

Scribbles and Scrambles - Life Lessons 5.3

I turned 53 yesterday. On some level that freaks me completely out. Not the wrinkles or gray hair part...but the part where I stop and say "Wha! Where did time go?" 

Because while I've been living this life one day after the other, time has been ticking right along.

I'm going to attempt to come up with 5.3 things I've learned about life...and let's just say the .3 is going to be first. 

Why .3? Kind of like an upgrade in computerville there are always bugs that need to be corrected, things to learn, software and hardware reboots, right? I'm so far from being done. And maybe one of the biggest things I've learned is the .3....I don't have anything really figured out. And the more I learn the more I realize that I hardly know a thing at all. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Tipping Toes

You know I subscribe to the blog Becoming Minimalist.  Right now, it's kind of a what if for me. What if I did make some significant changes? Do I want to? Is the outcome greater than what I'm giving up? Am I willing to change the way I think? And am I willing to become a different person if I take Road B rather than stay on Road A? I love the idea of being a minimalist. After all, I've purged a couple thousand things in less than a year and I love the feeling of owning less, moving less, dusting less, laundering less. And I continue down that path. But I'm not going to kid myself and say I'm a minimalist. I own way too much creature comfort to make that claim. 

However, I read an article at Becoming Minimalist about Tipping Points. The author talked about the vastness of society. He has a huge readership yet his readership is a tiny single digit percentage of society. A mere spit in the wind of doctrines and teachings and thoughts. He cited Malcom Gladwell's The Tipping Point which summarized says small things do make a big difference. Joshua Becker (Becoming Minimalist) wonders if his focus needs to be on a smaller scale...his circle of influence...the people who know and interact with him. And when circles begin overlapping -- maybe the small things, the one person at a time making one or two decisions that change their lives and help others to see that they can too, maybe -- that becomes a world changer. 

I can't help but resonate with this thinking. Because that is kind of the bottom line. We are all shaped by thoughts and opinions and desires of others when we are young, and then we are tested in the school of the BIG POND of life and are forced to sort and grasp and purge those thoughts, feelings and opinions and use those and the tools we find in the pond to become who we choose to become. Because we do have a choice. Most of us. Even if we've been oppressed, victimized, hurt, abused, belittled, discarded, unloved...we have a choice to not let that conquer us or destroy us. We have a choice to get off the out-of-control-Ferris-Wheel-of-dysfunction even if it's going to hurt when we hit the concrete. 

When we get patched up, we become sharers of what we know to be true. We can give testimony, personal experience, hard-won wisdom gained, and we can share it with others on our way. Think of the people you know who have made huge life changes. The alcoholic who stops drinking and can spot someone else who is struggling and offers hope to that person. Or the person who experiences a miraculous healing. That story just bubbles out from a place of gratitude. Leaving behind a glimmering wave of hope for those who have possibly given up on their own miracle. The liar who has been forgiven who refuses to ever lie again becomes an expert on the benefit of trust and speaking truth. The woman who bitterly hated someone for years and finally forgave changes outwardly, her whole countenance softens and does that ever have an impact on her circles. Jesus said that one who is forgiven much, loves much. And He also blasted the religious teachers for loading people down with burdensome laws to follow to the letter. When we experience something (sometimes tiny) that changes us, we can't help but radiate that change. And those tiny personal choices do shape our world. One tiny step at a time. 

Will I ever become a minimalist? Will I ever become totally healthy? Will I make a positive difference in the lives of people around me? I don't know if the answers to those questions are important. To continue towards those goals, to strive to choose life, health, wellness, kindness, hope, love and joy, self-respect, forgiveness ....I'm pretty sure those things are right answers to any question. 

Scribbles and Scrambles - I Diderot

Recently, I wrote about the Diderot Effective. The one wherein psychologically one purchase leads to more. The new skirt morphs into the shoes and necklace, too. Or the paint for the living room stretches the budget or assaults the credit card because new accessories and decor are a must.

I might be guilty of ignorance of this effect but marketers are not. Slap my forehead. This would be why window shopping or emotional shopping might be the deadliest thing for your budget. Can I just call out the elephant in the room? Who doesn't have their head turned by the ever morphing magical place called the Target $1 area? I can discover a lot of needs while standing and inhaling the scent of cheap plastic and burlap.

Then there is every new season's and holiday display of colors and styles draped on dummies (Of course I don't mean those who buy! And those mannequins aren't dummies....those are effective tools). Each item paired with multiple pieces, shoes and accessories. Hmmm, not an accident that everything goes together oh so well! 

Speaking of colors. Who's the evil genius behind the new it color palettes? And don't forget the creative minions who use those colors to design cute household accessories. Oh, and the off-to-college themes with the clever space saving furniture and organizers. 

I don't want to become a conspiracy theorist but...if the whole industry is conspiring for our hard earned dollars can we say the shoe fits????

I think I need to ponder this more. I may have a bigger issue than I thought. Fingers tapping on the table top.

This hideous Exhibit A photo is my stack of fancy paper cupcake liners. Remember back in the day when you either got plain white or an assortment of pastels and that was enough? 

Do I really need polka dot, leopard print, stripes and plain fuchsia, teal and blue cupcake liners? Apparently I thought I did. 

Scribbles and Scribbles ~ Passhave Aggressive Much?

So I'm going to tell on a co-worker or 2. Wait....maybe it's not a co-worker, actually, let's just say an acquaintance to avoid any unnecessary angst. 

I'll start over. There is a certain person whom a circle of friends/acquaintances know. This person has annoyed said circle. We will now refer to this person as Exhibit A. The circle will be The Circle. 

Exhibit A has something over The Circle but is kinda likeable so #it's complicated. 

Exhibit A loves bubble wrap. One of The Circle members who may or may not have been kissing up...whom am I to judge...left a large piece of bubble wrap on a table within the usual path of Exhibit A. 

Another of The Circle members crossed said path and began popping bubbles. I mentioned I thought it was some sort of peace/love/boot licking offering for Exhibit A. The other Circle member began popping in earnest. 

"Is this a passive aggressive statement you are making? So and so left you bubble wrap....oops I guess someone took all the joy out of it for you like you have sucked the joy from the lives of The Circle!" 

We laughed. The Circle member put down the bubble wrap and we returned to our area. Another Circle member came by.  We told this person what transpired. Hmmm "what if we just put tiny holes in each bubble. Revenge without actually popping?" 

The Circle has a new queen. We will bow to her and watch our backs. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Crazy Talk

Yes. When I repainted my living room....there were a few unnecessary Diderot purchases.

I subscribe to a blog called Becoming Minimalist. This post was a new idea for me. 

I have never heard of The Diderot Effect. I know, of course, that there is tremendous psychology in marketing and sales. So it should be no surprise that there is something psychologically that clicks in when items are purchased. 

Non-scientific and unverified info from my brain so take with a pound of salt...if we use credit cards we spend more than if we use cash. The Monopoly money syndrome? That's what it feels like to me anyway. And I know that is a something I  have succumbed to more than once. It seems odd to use a card for a $2.00 purchase but not at all if using cash. Plus I know the surcharge for credit cards is hefty and that small mom and pop places have a minimum on credit card expenditures. I actually feel guilty if I spend less than $10.00 on a credit or debit card. Hello! If that's not a reason to always use cash, I don't know what is. 

The Diderot Effect is (major summarizing of a really good article so read it above) the extra expenses incurred when one buys one new thing. Example. A new skirt opens the door to the perfect necklace or shoes or both. Soon the $50.00 skirt is $170.00 in purchases. Or the need for new living room furniture when the old is just fine because you replace the carpet that was a necessity. 

You know how many times I've fallen for this one? Sheesh? Yikes! It might be right up there with the "It's on clearance" syndrome that plagues me. 

But. The choices that we made yesterday belong to yesterday (unless we still have the receipt). But we are masters of the choices we will make tomorrow or today. Right? 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ The Rant...

Scrounged lunch.

So here's my rant. Ready? It's kind of a 1st World Problem. But it's also a comment on professionalism and how we can impact something much bigger than ourselves by our actions. 

Part of my "other duties as assigned" job description includes sharing an important calendar with a co-worker. This calendar is the lunch schedule that we make available to medical supply companies and drug representatives. The companies set up a time to bring in lunch for the staff and in turn get to share data and information with the prescribers in our office. (There are things I could say about this practice, but it is what it is and it has drastically changed over the ten+ years I've been the keeper of the calendar.) 

There are extremely professional men and women who work for these companies. A good representative is friendly, courteous, respectful, able to read body language, succinct and cares more about people than getting data pounded into a provider's head. These professionals make their company look good. 

And then there are some completely clueless individuals. We've refused a lunch appointment a time or two because of unprofessionalism and lack of common sense. And, trust me, their actions certainly impacted their company. 

Tuesday we had a no show lunch. Over the years we've asked people to call the day before to confirm. A full half would not. We tried e-mailing and getting a confirmation. That worked better. 

But we still had no shows or last minute cancellations. 

So this is part of a representative's job...setting up appointments to promote their product or service. In our office we do our best to make sure all the providers know who's coming and make it simple for them to see the person during the appointment time. I am still shocked at the way people look at these appointments. For starters, a dozen or so people plan on lunch coming to the office. Four of these people are busy prescribers who often only sit still long enough to wolf down food between patients. No lunch might mean a doctor goes hungry or gets behind in their schedule because they have to leave the office. In our clinic we place a calendar out with the representative's name and company on the appropriate date. So a no show or late cancel is known by everyone. Oddly, that doesn't seem to make a difference to the ones who don't care. My co-worker and I don't like to babysit or hound reps. But we like to know people are going to keep their appointments because a dozen co-workers looking at us wondering where food is kind of sucks. 

So Tuesday's lunch was set up a mere 14 days before. Shouldn't have had a conflict come up. Right? Right. So he leaves a voicemail at 9 o'clock that morning on a co-worker's voice mail that he needed to chat about lunch. At 10:30 she called and got his voicemail. At 11:30 she got real concerned when he hadn't called back. Long story short. Since we didn't call him back before 10:30 he thought it would just be okay to just not come because he wasn't "feeling good" and "since he didn't hear from us" he thought it'd be okay. Really? Those details were shared after my co-worker called his company and asked how she could get hold of him and explained the situation. He finally called her. Then he said he'd make it up to us by bringing a really nice lunch someday. 

Yeah. That's not going to happen. One of the doctors and a PA were ticked. Neither will use his company. (There are other providers to choose from that do a better job, so it won't impact patient care. This is also a company that has not had a great track record with patient response and active involvement with our office and he was trying to put them back on our to use list.) Like the doctor said. "If he can't handle an appointment with professionalism then how can we trust him with patients who need their supplies?" 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Hump Day Mind Dump

Do you ever struggle with this question? Can one person really make a difference? It's a good question. In the scheme of things it doesn't seem like it would be possible for one person to make a significant impact. When the entire population of earth is billions? Even something significant isn't going to make a ripple that will be felt around the world, right? And with limited resources doing good can be overwhelming. Like seeing an ocean of need and you possess a mere teacup of supply. (My mom)

Then there's the possibility of having to dig out of a hole first, when you've made some poor choices and you now face the mountain of consequence.

But, the experts, the powers that be, or the anonymous (someday I'm going to meet them.) say that the first step in getting out of debt is to stop spending and the first step toward breaking an addiction is to admit your problem. And that the car you drive now is your cheapest car. That the sun will come out tomorrow. etc.

Case in point. A friend just admitted he's a hoarder. And boy, having a conversation with him after that revelation didn't feel like he was on top of the world. Nope. The work has just begun. And the whole issue came up when I was sharing my 1000 thing purge with him and his wife. For weeks now they've been discussing his problem. She went so far as telling him the description of how he feels when told he has to get rid of something is exactly how she feels when she walks into a room and is assaulted by his piles of treasures. This poor guy has great intentions and strong motivation to change but this is going to be costly for him. However, the compulsion of hoarding was taking a different kind of toll. Outing himself is really a huge step toward freedom.

Oddly, this thought process came out of something entirely different. A rant. A completely different schtick. Not sure how my brain shifted. But there we have it. Steep on this. The Hump Day Mind Dump. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ This is

 what my introverted brain concocted on Picmonkey on a bitterly cold winter night after spending the past few weekends with loads of fabulous people and while listening to the Norah Jones Pandora channel. 

Just sayin....

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Christmas Cheer

I love how God uses our own thoughts and the innocent words of others to give us periodic attitude checks. After all, we all see the world uniquely and the internal monologue/dialogue makes sense to our own brain. 

Case in point. I'm standing next to someone helping at a kids Christmas party booth. I'm aware that another volunteer swings by and grabs a ziploc bag from our table but have no concern for its intended purpose. A few minutes later my co-worker growls, "put it in the bag already!" I slowly (no sudden moves, right?) turn to her and whisper, "what?" She then went on to tell me about the plastic bag. Through the body language 3 tables down she had figured out the volunteer had taken one of our bags for a woman who needed to put something small in it. Said woman was hanging on to the small object while talking and gesturing while the volunteer held out the bag. Meanwhile my fellow volunteer became immersed in this bag, the item and the clueless woman with the "verbal diarrhea." I, on the other hand, couldn't have cared less. Two people, identical surroundings, same purpose and vastly different takes and takeaways. Yeah. Our brains are complicated and unique machines. 

So now back to the attitude check thing. A friend told me about a hilarious attitude check she got. She had a list of Christmas gifts for families in need. Two pairs of boots. She also needed candy canes for another couple of same type situation. She chose a store that she rarely shops in because of past experiences because boots were a couple bucks cheaper in the ad. While standing in line the cash register crashed. A second cashier came over to help, when that didn't work she went to another register and did a call out so all the people behind my friend rushed over. She followed, and said her frustration meter started to clang. The first register finally kicked back on and the gal called out, my friend made one more move, nearly a half an hour after getting in line. She was behind one person and saw light at the end of the tunnel. And then another hitch. The gal in front of her couldn't get her card to work, and then tried another, and my friend, in a spirit of Christmas selfishness just wanted out of the store, so she said, "Let me" and swiped her own card. The shocked woman thanked her and called her a Christmas angel. The cashier, likewise, couldn't stop wowing. My friend wisely (Isn't it lovely when wisdom teaches us that a mouth kept shut and comments silenced can be a true friend indeed?) said nothing and took her leave. Fuming, she arrived at her location and then just had to laugh at her own craziness. And also realized that her attempt to save a few bucks actually cost her a whole lot more. But at least she kept her thoughts to herself in the store and at least two people were touched by a Christmas angel. And my friend learned a few things in line.

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Pickle Dots and Skewishness...

Perception is as unique as fingerprints. And as convoluted as a blown up picture of the whirls and swirls of an thumb.

I had an amusing conversation with a 90 year old patient yesterday. She was a real sweetie with quite the attitude. She shared that she has a family member a few years older who has never been hospitalized a day in her life. But one doesn't ask how she is because that opens a flood gate of complaints. Even though she is alive well into her 90's and basically as healthy as it gets she is a miserable little thing. Had my patient known about Sweet Brown she might have said "ain't nobody got time for that!"

My patient then shared a little about her own skewed perception. She has failing vision and in certain lighting really has trouble. She was given a sandwich, chips and pickle slices one day for lunch. She had almost cleared her plate but for one stubborn pickle that just wouldn't cooperate. She leaned over and asked to use her grandson's fork as hers just wasn't cutting it. 

He looked at her. "Can I help?"

"No! I just need a better fork for this pickle. Besides what can you do that I can't?"

"Well, Grandma, I can see that the stubborn pickle is actually a decorative green polka dot on the plate." 

We both had a nice long laugh over that. 

After she left I got to thinking about my own perception. How many times do I miss the forest for the trees? Or complain about the minutia when I've been given so much?  Or chase green polka dots hoping that they'll feed a need?