Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Playin Grownup

Do you ever feel like you are a child wearing grown up shoes? 

Maybe it's all the changes and constant ebb and flow of ocean waves in my life but I'm often feeling like I'm faking this adult thing. 

Case in point. I've done Dexascans at my employers for a decade. I'm in a newish location with a brand new to me machine and multiple people teaching/giving me expectations for what the outcome should look like. I was the lone ranger before, doing things for my 4 providers who just wanted the bottom line data. This new adventure is for 20+ providers and radiologists and I'm no lone wolf. One trainer says to include more femur, the other says, analyze and print right away, one says wait till you are done with the whole exam. Oh, and the anatomy lessons I memorized 20+ years ago have gotten a little rusty. 

I've been given the opportunity to do these alone, twice. Both times I've forgotten a detail. 

Yesterday's oops was so obvious. Such an oops that I feel like a total idiot. My trainer came into the room and said "You didn't use the postioner." This is no small thing. The positioner is a massive foam block you put under the legs to put the spine in the perfect position. I have never. In the hundreds of Dexascans I've done. Forgotten that piece of the puzzle. But I think in trying to go through my mental checklist of the differences between my old machine, this new one, the expectations of the trainers and wanting to get off the remedial list I overlooked the elephant in the room then tripped and fell face down into a pile of elephant poo. 

The even scarier part of this. (BTW, no patients were harmed in this process. Ha. Ha.) My new bosses want me to fully utilize the degree I have. Which means I will be on a learning curve for basically forever while I begin training on the digital x-ray unit. 

Scribbles and Scrambles...V for Victory

I'm excited to announce that after seven or so grueling hours I have put together an adorable play kitchen. 

We've had a borrowed one that gets loads of action. But it had a new house to go to and since our wall was now blank, and Amazon gave me $8.63 off of a purchase, and the new kitchen was adorable retro turquoise, and an 18-month-old chef hangs here and loves it, and scads of visiting cousins might just want to play with it, I pressed submit order. 

It came in a flat box. Very flat. I've lived long enough to know that flat boxes mean lots of assembly. Whew. There were 38 pieces...maybe 39. And then all the supporting screws and bolts and nuts and accessories. I ripped the box open and began tediously putting this together. Note: If you want a play kitchen and you know it will arrive in a flat box, do not, I repeat, do NOT start this project two hours before gifting hour. You will hate yourself. This is not a Christmas Eve project. (Unless you start at 6:00 a.m. that is.)

I did have to enlist Rob's help. For a few things. A) when I exuberantly overtightened a screw on an accessory and heard a crack and suddenly the screw turned real fast I realized I broke the plastic screw housing. Rob came to the rescue with his super glue. Thank goodness the break was behind the cute medallion. B) The HINGES!!!!! I could not get those suckers right! Holy sweet everything that is good and wonderful!!!!! The HINGES!!!!! AUGH!!! So he invested an hour of his life in this activity as well. 

Ironically, I had been thinking I loved the fact that Kidcraft's directions were helpful. Rob did not think so. Apparently, our minds process instructions differently. We both loved that the screws etc were mostly in a bubble packaged box cardboard backing and the letter of the item was on the front and the back. No bags of screws! Once everything was open it turned into a little more complicated mess but it was less overwhelming than 15 bags of screws/nuts/bolts. Rob was so impressed with the quality and workmanship. Every piece of word and screw hole etc was perfectly lined up. The finish is great and it's rock solid. Definitely worth the price. For the record I got it for $112 before the discount. I included a link to it but it looks like the Amazon ones are sold out and it's third party only so definitely look around if you are thinking about getting it. 

It is so cute! 

And it's done! Yay!!! 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Presto Chango

Apparently, my life theme this year is change. Oh, wait, maybe that was last year's theme and it's oozing over into 2017.

Regardless That's my word. Change. Did you know it's trendy to have a word define you this year? And who doesn't want to be like all the cool kids? Finally, as we finish the 2nd month of the year I've found my theme word.

I mean I like change. I really do. Boredom gets to me. I like to shift and learn and rearrange things to keep them interesting.

To a certain degree.

One environment at a time.

Today I go to my job and then get to walk over to another clinic and get trained on equipment I've never laid eyes on. Our independent small clinic was purchased by a LARGE entity that has many locations. My x-ray equipment of 15 years is being phased out because it's becoming a dinosaur. And I will be an extra and floating tech in the other clinics in my realm that have x-ray equipment. YIKES! These clinics take lots of different x-rays. I've literally been shooting the same body part since I left my training days twenty years ago. I wouldn't know how to position an ankle at this point even if it came with Ikea style instructions. (That's supposed to be funny, so laugh, please. I am and I hate to laugh alone.) Can we all scream LEARNING CURVE?

Church. Yep. Change there, too. BIG CHANGE. We have rearranged our Sunday morning activities to make room for a church three times our size to use our facility. And we overlap a bit. Or a lot. And their aesthetic is different. Not their doctrine, though. And it's so great our facility is getting abundant use, but there's a wee bit of adjustment. Tweaks of space and attitudes. Challenges.

Home. Ha. An adult daughter and an almost 18-month-old refilled our empty nest. Change. So great. So fun. So doubling our house size and opinions and needs.

These are mostly amazingly rich changes. They really are. I'm getting better benefits, literally and figuratively. I'm benefiting from having my world stretched. I don't want or need my world to revolve around the things I have shaped into my safe havens or built a box around. I do want my faith stretched, my mind stretched and my self stretched. I want to live my life with hands wide open and heart engaged. Change will stretch me and grow me.

What I have learned while navigating so far into this sea or uncertainty:

One step at a time. One day at a time. One minute at a time. There will be interruptions. There will be stress and pressure and sometimes overwhelming urges to scream and pull hair. (Mine and others....not even kidding. But I am laughing.)  But if I can breathe through this minute. Communicate that I literally need a minute to breathe and process, I'm going to be okay. It's all going to be okay. I will be glad of all of these changes. They are challenges that will make me a more fulfilled and better human being if I chose to let them do just that! 

I can control my attitude if I can control nothing else. Panicked people react. I can choose to think it through and process those tiny details before I blurt things out or make huge statements that are impossible to unsay. 

Much of what is happening is transitional dust and debris. There appears to be more change than there actually is. Much of what is going on can be labeled "This too shall pass" and it will.

So there we go. What are you learning? What's your chosen or assigned word of the year? 

Coming Up for Air

Can you teach an old dog new tricks? I think this is kind of a philosophical kind of question. Like "if a tree falls in the forest with no one around to hear it does it still make a sound?" Deep caca kind of thoughts, right? Or is an old dog = new tricks more like "what comes first, the chicken or the egg?" 

Regardless, my brain hurts. For so many reasons. Right now everything makes noise whether I'm standing near it or not. The entire universe is a whooshing ocean of white noise residing in my brain. And chickens/eggs. I so don't even care. 

I like to think I'm computer literate. I'd even go so far as to say computer functional. I blog, there's a certain skill set in that. I text and manage to do many things over my phone. I can operate Netflix and Hulu for my frequent mindless television binges. I can navigate FB including looking at other peoples posts and not getting confused about whether I share something on my page or a friends'. These are all signs of some level of "getting it." Right? 

Enter computer program changes at work. 

Enter like a stealth missile including the boom that shakes the foundations for miles around. 

Our medical records system has changed. Radically. And everything. I MEAN EVERYTHING we now do at work has shifted and turned upside down and inside out. We are now part of a huge machine. From an independent office of 15 people with two/three/five bosses to hundreds of bosses. Seriously. From clicking on a Staples link with pictures and descriptions to order toilet paper to an old school ordering system that has random and obscure clues so when I try to order date stickers for x-ray envelopes I get one choice. One that is 5 times the price and will require a cupboard instead of a file folder. And that's after I jump through 5 hoops to get them added to the system. 

My job involves adding information into a system that is accessed by thousands of people. The click this, click this, right click, left click, change the date or else, make sure you cosign required or else for this scenario to the opposite in another window in another scenario. My trainer told me, "You got this" and left. Two days later she was back in my office. Two days after that a second trainer was in my office making me a cheat sheet of my click choices. Two days after that I got an email saying I had not updated a date in one of the three places I was supposed to so I had to cancel it and put in a new whole order with the second date. Oh, and if I save but not sign in another field I'll get put on a list. Yes. I have new lists I can be put on. Isn't the simple one list, the POOP LIST enough? Really people? 

We'll see what tomorrow brings. 

All this to say why this old dog didn't do any tricks last week but burn neural pathways, deal with quivering chins, and juggling what was with what is. This old dog was dog tired. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Chapters

I have stated multiple times that I love change. This is either a good thing or a twisted self-fulfilling prophecy. 

I guess either way it is my life so I'm just going to embrace it. 

I have always loved having a houseful of near and dear ones. When my kids were teenagers I was thrilled to be the congregating house. For several years before American Ninja Warrior we had a second story that was just roughed in (2 x studs, windows and weather protection.) It was a massive clubhouse at times. The kids and their friends wrote their names, funny comments and Bible verses on the floor, and in framed out doorways They'd hang from rafters and swing from board to board. 

Our daughters two best friends lived with us over a summer, one extending her stay nearly a year. We even had a soldier camp out on our couch for a few weeks while he was waiting to head to Iraq. 

I'm not saying there weren't rough patches here and there with constant patter of big teenage or young adult feet. But our house always felt alive. Zinging with energy. 

Slowly, our upstairs was finished. We moved into our new square feet and used the previous bedrooms downstairs as storage. Our kids got older. Number one married and moved out while still in college. Our youngest moved out way too young. Our middle daughter hung the longest. She finally moved about three years ago. 

This house has felt pretty empty and huge for the past three years. The relationships are great,  and we are within 25 miles of each other. All is well. Children have entered the picture making our children an even bigger draw. My absolute favorite times are when we are all together, whether in our house or one of theirs, or actually anywhere. 

The past Christmases since our middle daughter started foster care the whole family has spent Christmas Eve night. And Christmas night. The 26th always feels a little hollow when they pack up their noise and their clutter and their sweet little selves and head out the door. 

Rob and I talked. Our house is too big for just us. Two people don't need 4+ bedrooms. Or 2,500 sq ft.  But our last rooms aren't quite ready for resale. See them scattered about through here. 

In anticipation I've been getting rid of stuff like a maniac. You've seen my posts on and off for two years now. First year 2000 items goal. Bam. Done in three months. Realistically we purged probably 5000 items. Second year real close to that. I haven't quit. Actually I've ramped it up. We decided we'd like a 700-800 square foot house. Just enough room for cozy sleepovers with kiddos on Christmas.  Stay tuned. There's more coming. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Cake Diva Continued

The day of creation was here. And Cakey-Girl was thrilled. 

We set the fondant out to hit room temperature. As I said yesterday this is something I wouldn't do again. The fondant was pretty easy to put together. I'd make it right before I needed it, maybe while the cake is cooling. It was so much easier to work with while still slightly warm from the microwave. 

Since my job was basically grunt labor, wrestling and rolling the cooled and stiffened fondant Cake-Diva was full on decorating, dictating and running the show. She wanted bright vivid colors and I think she pulled that off. 

We dirty iced the layers, she plopped the fondant down and cut it and patched it. This went real fast and we both loved the texture of the covered cakes. With a little buttercream to hold the second layer we repeated that step with the different shaped cake and the differently colored fondant. 

We slapped more buttercream down, glued the cupcakes in place and began to make them look like roses. I did half of the first one and suggested a technique. She went rodeo and did her own thing. They looked enough like roses that she was happy. At this point we popped the cake into the fridge because it was warm enough in the kitchen to soften the butter cream a bit too much. 

While that firmed up I rolled out the third and fourth colors of fondant for the decorative touches. She took to the  cookie cutters and the cute little metal alphabet cutters we got at Hobby Lobby for under $6.00. I'm definitely going to get $6.00 multiplied worth of fun and joy out of that purchase. She found that she could use jack-o-lantern cutters, and corn-on the-cob skewers for shaping and and detail. 

She began loading shapes with buttercream details, and cutting/poking and prepping like a beast. Once I got the cake back out of the fridge she frosting glued all of her designs on the cake and embellished everything. 

It was so cute. And surprisingly delicious and oh so sweet. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Cake Diva Part 1

I mentioned that my oldest granddaughter was staying with us and wanted to make a welcome home cake for her mom and siblings. We had watched several episodes of the Next Great Baker and she was enthralled. 


I have an awesome and easy vanilla cake recipe and I found a DIY fondant recipe, too. How challenging can this be? I thought. 

So over the course of three days we set out to build an epic cake based on the lil baker's cake book. (Drawings, diagrams, plans sketched by the nine-year-old master chef.)

A square layer, a round layer and 4 cupcakes were baked and frozen for ease in frosting. On day 1. 


Fondant made of marshmallows and an unholy amount of powdered sugar was put together on day 2. This was so easy. A big bowl, 4 cups of miniature marshmallows, 2 TBSP water and 4 plus cups of powdered sugar. Yep. That's right. Marshmallows and powdered sugar. You melt the marshmallows with the water in the microwave, stir it till smooth and begin adding powdered sugar one cup at a time. Then you sprinkle more powdered sugar on the surface of the table and begin kneading until it is no longer sticky, turning it over and folding it as needed until its all smooth. 

Roll it out. 

Lay it over the "dirty iced" (technical term learned from "reality" television in which a cake is iced with a thin layer of butter cream to set the fondant and cut down on crumbs) cake and smooth it out. 

That's if you want white. If you want colors then warm up because you have the need to knead some more. Our creation needed four colors. So to be safe we doubled the batch above. (If you are local and have a need for marshmallow fondant which tastes eerily just like Lucky Charms marshmallows, come on over, we have some left.) Green, blue, lavender and orange. We used regular food color, no need for the heavy and more expensive paste. 

I was the sous chef mixing and kneading because the executive pastry chef lacked even more height than me and lacked the kneading hand muscles. This next step I will skip when attempting fondant in the future. We wrapped the little logs of fondant in plastic and chilled them once the colors were mixed. 

The next day after we made the buttercream we began to work with the fondant. The much harder and firmer fondant. The little cake diva immediately assigned the rekneading to me. The rolling became mine as well. She work on the cutting and placement instead. 

More steps and the final creation tomorrow. My typing muscles took a beating from the fondant wars! 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Whoooo Boy Learning Curve Ahead

Our 9-year-old granddaughter is staying with us for a couple of weeks.                                       One of our couple rituals is when we have finished what we need to finish (i.e. when we are tired and should just go to bed early to get a great night's sleep) we end the evening with Hulu or Netflix. Our favorite shows are usually reality. The cooking challenge shows are right up there. 

So CeeCee (the 9 year old, name changed to protect me) has joined in with us watching whichever shows strikes our fancy collectively. What has become her favorite and possibly a new obsession is Next Great Baker. This photo is her first cake design. CeeCee wants to make a cake welcoming her mom and siblings home. And she wants to make this cake. 

Okay. Now here's where is gets real challenging. I don't have the skill set.  I have never, ever worked with fondant. And I've watched some epic fails on this type of show. I also made one huge and elaborate cake for each of my children then began buying them after that telling myself that I had indeed accomplished memorable cakes and now could hang up the apron with a smile. And I never really desired to pick up said apron again...so inside my brain somewhere is a WaaWaaWaaWaa siren sound attempting to remind me how very, very complicated cake making is and this probably shouldn't be attempted at home. Especially with fondant. Even now my brain is screaming "Leave that to the professionals, Honey," (Okay, I added Honey to soften it...my brain never calls me honey.)

Like with her mother before her and her aunt and uncle, I have always melted when presented with a kid dream. I mean, if I don't put some effort into helping them explore, then they don't learn, and if they don't learn, maybe they are missing out on something huge inside of them that the world needs. Or a coping skill that will help them navigate life and all its challenges.  

 Fortunately, I've convinced her that it needs to be real small. Like the top tier (ha, ha I gots the lingo down) could be a cupcake. Praise the Lord she thought that was a good idea. I even found a recipe for DIY fondant made out of marshmallows and powdered sugar. Seriously, marshmallows and powdered sugar....wonder if that's going to be sweet or savory? 

I told her we'd begin this epic project on Saturday. Because the professionals on the show get hours to create and pull off a cake, therefore, we will need days. 

I will be reporting on this adventure...stay tuned. Now to make the shopping list. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Ours

My daughter started her foster care journey exactly two years ago. For her first month she did respite care for a family of foster kids whose foster home had gotten damaged in a tornado. It was a great practice run with adorable kids. The night before their foster mom's home was ready for them to return my daughter got another call. 

Three little kids, ages 7 thru barely 3 were in need of a home for a few months. They had been in more than one foster care home. And there were behaviors, they warned. 

And we wondered what kind of behavior problems we adults might have if we had been removed and moved as many times as they had in a year. 

Something to think about. 

In the last two years my heart has broken and grieved. It has hoped and despaired. It has soared with feelings I just can't even put into words. 

Last Thursday, after 914 days in the foster care system, they were adopted into our family. 

I am so blessed. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Outta Here.

I got bit by a wild hair yesterday. I have some furniture I just want to get rid of. 

But before that I have to get rid of the stuff in and on it. First the DVD collection. We seriously had three storage pieces full of DVDs. Can you say excessive??? We went through a phase where we would buy any movie we liked if we discovered it at a decent price. The wicker drawer unit in photo one was crammed full of DVDs. The wooden unit in picture three was crammed full of them. And the two (there were three) baskets on the bottom shelf were actually loaded as well and slid into a wooden box. So we got rid of enough DVDs to downsize into one unit , with room. YAY!!! I'm going to try a new app I read about called decluttr. You apparently scan the scan code on the CDs or DVDs and they make an offer and you ship them to them at no cost. I'm okay selling some stuff. Oh yeah. Cuz as you imagine, I'm kicking myself for the $$$ invested in our library.

Then I decided, since I was on a roll, I'd move the 3 pictured units around to new locations that make sense. The wicker unit is near my coffee counter and holds extra coffee mugs now. The unit that held the coffee mugs before is now on the other kitchen wall and holds small appliances and other items I use. 

I was able to clear off a huge baker's rack that I don't love and place those items in new places. Sigh. Satisfied. Sleeping well, tonight. Those pieces were heavy. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ More Minimizing Around the Corner Comes

Another season of purging is upon me. With the prepurchase of Joshua Becker's new book, The More of Less, I was able to sign up for a 12 week challenge/class. 

The book arrived the other day and I'm two chapters in and so glad I parted with $11.00. I already have a few folks who want to read it when I'm done. So I'm excited about that, too. I can share the information. 

What speaks to me in what I've read is the fact that too much stuff can crush our mission, our passion, our very lives. If I, as I strongly believe, have a path already set out for me before my birth. And that God has uniquely created me for that path, then the clutter of life distracts me and keeps me from finding the bumps and turns and twists of that path. 

The fact that so much of that stuff is just an annoyance. Things I don't love, things I have to move over and over again. Things. Cheaply made, ill-fitting, items I don't enjoy. Just stuff that takes up space in my physical, emotional and mental world...it just needs to go. 

Even more reason to get rid of stuff. 

I'll keep you posted. In the meantime I'm going to be Unflattering and shedding some stuff this weekend. 

Scribbles and Scrambles - 1 Week of Lessons

We've had our pokeballs for a week.

Things I've learned about hedgehogs! (Many of these comments could be applied to people as well. just saying) 

They are as cute as can be. The disappearing and appearing ears, eyes and forehead action is just adores.

At least 2 of the worlds' beagle population are VERY leery of hedgehogs. Tonight is the first time they are sharing the same section of the room.

Hedgehogs poop when they walk or crawl around on humans. Or in the wheels or balls. It only lasts the first 10 minutes or so but poo is involved. Then there may be a warm dribble....insult to injury. Hedgie diapers....hmmm wouldn't need pins!

Hedgehogs are surprisingly cuddly. They don't mind being petted on their quills and it's not at all unpleasant as long as you don't go against the grain. They love to curl up and really like the buddy bags I made. Dark and cozy corners.

Quills are not barbed. But they are sharp. Hedgies who are startled, cranky or loners are very good at getting that across. They roll up and the quills extend. The texture is a combination of wire brush, dried out Christmas tree and dryer ball. 

Touching a puffed hedgie is touchy ( ha-ha ). You have to scoop up under their soft belly. They puff and huff sometimes while you are attempting that. And it's a scary thing to see. 

One more thing. This caught me by surprise. Daffodil chomped me. She was agitated. And I hadn't washed my hands before picking her up. Just one bite. But it was sharp and she didn't let go right away. Later, when I researched I found a few key things. 1) they are visually impaired. 2) in the wild they eat worms and small snakes. 3) food or perfume on your hands can grab their interest and make them think you are edible.
I did learn that I handled it well. I didn't put her down, scream, or toss her. Don't want that experience again but I learned from it. Win. And best of all, no scar. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Making Old School Cool...

Saturday I was able to join my first TEDx event. I've seen a few talks on Youtube and the like and I've always found that I take at least one thing away from a small investment of time. 

But in Omaha we have our own TEDx organization. A friend is part of the planning committee and suggested my daughter and I might like a TEDx Adventure. We traveled to a little town on our side of the river in Iowa. Malvern, Iowa, population?  Not so many. 

(I love it when Omaha crosses the river into our territory.) 

A Carnegie library makes it's home in Malvern. A classic white clapboard church has been transformed into an art studio, home to a terrific artist and my new kitty buddy.  Old downtown buildings are being reclaimed and made beautiful in all their glory. 

We lunched at a lovely cafe/bar/coffee house with a for reals piano man playing away. 

Should you be looking for a town like Malvern, there is a lovely bike trail and there will be some upcoming housing available this summer. (No hotel, really.) But the Art Church has an apartment that is going to be rented out (which is really cool. I'd love to stay a night or two.) A historic building near the bike trail is being renovated to provide more housing. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Oh the Things We Did Purge

So. After my lazy half week of laying on the couch and wishing for swift death, I mostly recovered. By mostly I mean that I worked a full day plus at work then came home and did some chores that hadn't gotten done while I was sick and pulled together another hundred "get rid of" items or so to make up for lost time. 

My son manages a service learning group at his local high school and they had a huge rummage sale and I usually donate. So Rob and I loaded up probably three hundred items. (I've been counting and packing things away for this fundraiser.) And I hauled it to his school early Saturday morning. But. I think my crazy making up for lost time on Friday did not agree with me on Saturday because I started feeling punk again. I cancelled my violin lesson in case I was still oozing germs and because, well, I didn't want to relapse there. It's rough enough to cry in front of my teacher, I can't imagine vomiting on him. Ya know? 

Anyhoo. Dropping the load of stuff I wanted to never see again at the school made me feel a little better, kinda. I'll tell you, the cart and the table next to it had our stuff. And that's just a portion of it, there's been way more leave my premises. YAY!!! Plus his group/club made some decent money so I feel good about donating. 

The only, and I mean ONLY negative is that I only have 24 more items to hit my entire year long goal. But I couldn't complete it before I needed to drop the stuff off and I am now at the point where I need to carefully consider whether an item is something I want to let go of. 

Not saying I don't have a bunch of stuff I could chuck and never miss, just that I don't want to go all willy-nilly and then wish I hadn't. Case in point. I have this super cool enamelware roaster that was just decorative and I eyed it "do I really need this?" At about the same time I decided I hated a corner of my counter top where we store things like powdered drink mixes, bags of protein shakes, medications, etc and I had them in a big basket that took up too much room. So I just started poking around online to see if I could find the perfect thing that would clean up the corner and make it less sloppy. I found a super cute retro break box that would be perfect I decided. I put it in my Amazon cart but didn't purchase. Fortunately. Because, DUH, my roaster was perfect, and immediate, and FREE. 

And while I was doing one more pass through my closet before the rummage sale run I made a final decision about this super cute pink bag. I mean. Use it or give it. So I'm using it. Spring is almost here. And who cares that I may or may not be over fifty sporting a bright pink velvety bag? Do you? Didn't think so. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ On the Edge

This violin thing has been going on for two years. TWO YEARS. Granted, there's been progress, lots of it. But part of me feels like I should be symphony ready by now.

It helps when I hear musicians who are talented at their instruments say that they tried violin and gave up because it was so complicated, or that they were certain they couldn't pull it off because the dang thing doesn't have frets.

My last lesson included tears. (Mine, not his. ) Why did I cry? Pure frustration. The notes I wanted to hit would fall short of reaching the goal, my timing got wacky and then the song I was playing didn't even sound like a recognizable song. AUGH!

My teacher calmed me down. Okay. I wasn't ugly crying or wailing, just a few tears. He didn't have to threaten to call someone to intervene. But he said (hope it wasn't something said to crazy people to let them down easy, dang it!) that it's really good that I can hear that the music I'm wanting to make is not coming out of my violin. To differentiate my playing on a scale from really awful to only a few mistakes is a skill. And I'm developing it which means I'm going to get there. 

Well, I'm sure not giving up now. One of these days. It's going to click. BTW Blogger ate half of this post. I thought it published this morning but not only did it not, it ate up some of what I had typed. Oh technology! 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ In Hind Sight...

 In hind sight, if I had known it would take two long years of fiddling around with my fiddle before I ever felt confident to play in church, I probably would've run the other direction. Okay. Walked real fast, like I was being pulled by super charged beagles, cuz I've pretty much decided I'm not a runner. K? 

When I thought I'd just pick up this wooden instrument and end up where I left off, I was WAY wrong. I've whined (or shared my insights, that sounds better, let's go with that) about the difficulty I'm having with coordinating my right hand, left hand and brain pathways. 

To be fair to any wannabes out there whom I do not want to discourage...I'm also not practicing an hour a day. So there's that. And there are days that are just too short to do any practicing, at all. Had I jumped fully into the white-capped waves and sank or swam, did or DOA, I'm sure my results would be different. Had I studied music theory separately, or immersed myself in all things rhythm maybe I'd have grasped it sooner. And I know if I followed everything my teacher taught me, I'd probably be playing regularly with others. (Plays well with others...ha ha, remember that from report cards?) 

On a whim I took a simple chord based piano class with a friend. She kinda talked me into it and I thought it might help to forge another avenue of music into my gray matter. I don't have a piano so I've gone over to my friend's to practice now and again. My violin teacher wanted me to jam with other musicians over the summer to help broaden my skills and I asked a friend here and there and got a "yeah, sure" response, but really, nothing happened. But naturally, through this music side class, a couple of us brought other instruments and we played along with some Christmas carols. And guess what I found out? There are magic things called key signatures, and when you understand them it's like the Rosetta Stone for music, or some such legendary stuff. My friend and I are also working out some songs together and she is struggling right along side of me. I guess this new epiphinus moment has made me bolder. My pastor has been asking for months when I'm ready to play. I finally told him I could play along with a Christmas carol. The worship team chose Silent Night. (BTW there are a LOT of variations, in every key I'm guessing, whew.) I got the official music from the pianist and then searched until I found the simplest version of it. Then I practiced. And practiced and learned more notes because there are a lot of notes on a violin and they are all about a flea shadow away from each other. Too high by a fraction of an inch and you are sharp, too low, flat, baby, flat. 

On Sunday, I played the three stanzas and didn't freeze, didn't get lost, didn't lag behind and I didn't embarrass myself. Granted, I was praying real hard as I picked up the violin that God would stop the shaking of my hands and keep the food in my stomach. I get to play again during Christmas Eve service and you know what, I'm okay with that. And now I think I can regularly start playing with others. The patient ones. And maybe one day I'll think what I play is beautiful. 

Two years. And had I looked at the song I eventually played in public I would have thought I could play it in lesson two. And doesn't that sum up a whole lot about human nature? 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ A Peek at the 1880's

While in Nebraska City I found some sweet things. One of the best was an autograph book or maybe school memory book. I took a picture of the cover and a couple of pages. I'll put the rest on the blog later. It's kind of amazing to touch something others touched over a century ago. And see how things change and stay the same all at the same time. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Post Wedding Pics and Thoughts.

A friend of the family made a bride's cake and molded pinecones out of modeling
chocolate and flowers our of gum paste... it was so pretty. 

& and I made this for the wedding. She wanted a rustic/shabby chic chalkboardy
directional sign telling people where to go for different aspects. ion

They had a hot chocolate bar with add-ins; chopped white and dark chocolate,
marshmallows, candy cane and caramel. The trick was heating the chocolate. The church
had a huge commercial kitchen...(so fun and intimidating) and the hot cocoa mix needed to be
heated with whole milk and brought to hot, hot. I spent three hours mixing and heating hot
chocolate in this witch's cauldron. Seriously, it was hard not to toss in eyes and wings. This
sucker held about 7 gallons and the paddle could've propelled a small canoe across a lake.
Or actually, one paddle would've made a lovely circling action. I'm glad the lakes were frozen. 

Love these. A co-worker of the bride makes these cakes stands. 

Aneomes might be my favorite flower now. I'd forgotten how cute and sweet they are. 

Wax flowers. Too pretty.

The wedding decor was simple. The ceremony was one of the most Christ-centric ones I've ever sat through. The event was a celebration of the couple and their foundation built on Christ individually and now as a couple. It was so cool. 

We put together bouquets of fresh flowers and boutonnieres on Friday morning. A friend of the bride had some know-how and access to a florist supply shop and gave us tutorials. We then had a long period where we were just able to relax and chill. No frenetic bride or mom of bride energy. 

The theme was shabby chic elegant, and it was. Some simple chalkboard signs, a Photo Booth, a kid's table with point and shoot cameras and a list of things to shoot, a table full of cakes/desserts and a hot chocolate bar. Simple candles and single vases of flowers/greenery adorned each reception table. White lights wrapped around pillars and draped from the balcony in the sanctuary. Instead of a guest book they had a silk covered piñata ball that guests put personal notes in that will be sealed and then opened on the couple's first anniversary. The couple left to a sparkler salute.