Scribbles and Scrambles ~ I Shoulda Been a Writer...

The blog tour mania has left me a little bit worded out. How strange. That never happens. Right now I'm soaking in the fumes of varnish and so glad I wore gloves when staining so I don't have filthy fingernails. The dogs are wrestling on the newly carpeted stairs and I'm gearing up for a full 5 Day Grandma gig. Ha. Maybe that's why I'm speechless. 

A little funny which I will go into more of later at Modern Day Mishaps or elsewhere. My boss doesn't like to share his bathroom. But because he's only one lone discontented man and there are 13 others -- 12 of those women -- he pretty much has to. So he asked me to put up a sign in his bathroom spelling our the rules. 

I can not put up a sign that just states the facts. So I put up one that was snarky and sarcastic and pretty amusing to me. 

He came to me later. "That was hysterical he said. I was so impressed with your use of flotsam. You just don't see that word very often." I laughed and thought to myself. "He paid me to mess around at work and entertain myself. Jokes on him." Then he said. "You really are in the wrong career because you could be making 10 times what you are making now if you wrote for a show or something." 

I laughed even harder. Hello! I've blogged for years. I tweet an occasional show stopper, I have two cute dogs and two cute hedgehogs who have yet to have gone viral. Oh, and I just had a book published. I'm pretty sure my talent isn't going to be "moving me on up" any time soon. 

Oh, sweet mercy. I just said. "Thanks! Glad you liked your sign." 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Ooops!

So. You probably know that blogging doesn't pay well. Occasionally, I'll get something free. Yay! And I get about 7 cents a month for clicks on ads. But yesterday it cost me. Wait. No, not really. But I'm going to use a costly lil incident and turn it into an amusing (I hope) anecdote. 

If you've read my blog for any length of time, or know me, you probably know I STINK at parallel parking. some people stink worse (I won't name any one in particular, Michelle Griep, because I've never actually wounded one of my children and a friend while attempting, however, I came close.) 

I went to downtown Omaha on a quick trip to meet & and tiny Bean (the 3 year old) for lunch. Omaha is a big city and has lots of parking meters and parallel parking. 

Sigh. 

I pulled in. The wrong way, front loading. I know this is improper parallel parking technique. I know that what one must do is line up your tire and crank backwards into this incredibly short slot.  When people I'm with are parallel parking in the proper manner I hold my breath and break out in a sweat. It's almost like they are magical, intelligent beings who know the secrets to the universe. 

Well, the secret to confidently wheeling a vehicle backwards into a twisty rectangular slot. 

When I returned to my vehicle a lovely woman, wearing a vest with official looking identity marks looked up and made eye contact. "Oh, Honey, I'm so sorry. I just ticketed your vehicle." 

"Dang it. I knew time was a tickin." I said and snapped my fingers. 

"Well, that's not why you got a ticket. Do you know why I ticketed you?" 

"Because I parked like an IDIOT?!?" I asked

She hooted. "Ha, I didn't say that... but..." She handed me the ticket. It said "violation - parking more than a foot from the curb."

aka parking like an idiot. Okay to be fair. My entire car was NOT a foot away from the curb, more like the butt of my car was a full three feet away from the curb. 

Here's the really sad part. I had a blast bantering with the nice lady as she passed me the ticket. It helped considerably that she thought I was HILARIOUS. And that she thought Bean was adorable. Bean sat in the car seat cracking up watching the two crazy ladies laugh. 

Hey. I've blown $16.00 in far worse ways.