Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Drive By Thoughts…Continued

If you want this to make sense you might have to read the past two days posts first. 

I'm talking about healing pain vs. pain. 

The inevitably of pain and choosing to open up the pain that brings healing and life verses the pain of living while dying inside. 

My mother-in-law wanted to wait for surgery because she didn't feel good. And had she waited, her systemic consequences would have increased her pain and the decay process. 

Her surgery anchored the broken parts. It gave the broken parts a purpose and direction. There was security in the wrapping of her wounds, and safety in the security. There is no future need to break a half-hearted healing attempt causing extra trauma because the parts were in the proper place when the healing began. With the security she now had greater freedom. When three areas of her body were broken she could lay flat. But, when those breaks were stabilized she was able to sit with help, stand with help, and walk with help. One by one the tubes and ties to the machines that provided food and circulation and waste removal were removed giving her more freedom. 

Amazingly, this is what happens to me when I really look close at my spiritual and emotional conditions and attitudes. When I hang on to a sin like unforgiveness, or choose to be easily offended, there's pain, but I'm also stuck, bed-ridden, drinking and spewing what is being fed to me. It's not until I choose to let God reveal the ugliness inside of my broken self and let it go to Him where it belongs, do I find direction and healing. 

I can not carry around attitudes and sorrows that are not mine to demand revenge or payment for. Because there will be no satisfaction in the failure of that person to provide what I'm seeking. I love the Psalm that David penned about his guilt. The aching, the physical damage that was being done in his body due to his unconfessed guilt, and the freedom and healing that came once he confessed. 

The times that I've been at the end of myself and I've poured out my ugliness to God, or my confusion, or my pain….it's ugly. Not going to lie. There are boiling tears, words that shouldn't even be in my vocabulary spewing out of me along with snot and goo. And when I'm done, I'm spent. I lay there, exhausted and with squinty, swollen eyes, and I thank Him for forgiving me or taking my burden. And I fall into a dreamless, peaceful sleep. The next morning, the world is different somehow, or maybe it's me. And I'm aware of processes becoming normalized, a knitting together of broken bits, and I know, that there is healing in the house. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Drive By Thoughts

I've discovered that you can write a book on an I-Phone. Do I recommend that? Nope. Not at all. But the commitment I made does not waver in the midst of lots of hours spent elsewhere than in front of my computer. I have now written two full scenes on our Work in Progress (WIP) from a hospital room.

Yesterday I mentioned what I had learned in this process about brokenness and surgery and the inevitable pain of life.

I'd like to add to that.

My Mother-in-Law was in horrible pain before surgery. Even though drugs are good, they confused her and didn't really ease her pain. Just masked it. After surgery, whoooo baby, she was so in the land of la la. Her pain was intense and her communication skills were deadened by the anesthesia. It was rough to see. She was as white as the hospital sheets and kept saying she wanted to understand but her brain was foggy. Once again, as they added pain medication, she would fall into a blessed sleep.

But what a difference yesterday morning made. I walked into her room bright and early and was shocked at her clarity and her color. She had turned from looking like death to very much alive. Her pain level was under control. she was completely tracking with the nurses, asking appropriate questions and remembered the night before, and she even smiled. The afternoon and evening brought even more improvement.

Not only is healing pain better because life is back in the house. Healing pain is quicker. Had she waited an extra day for surgery, there would not have been improvement. Not at all. There would have been more dying. Lying flat, unable to move, the consequences on her whole body were real and a concern. The gastrointestinal system, the circulatory system, the immune system. All were at danger of worsening….

I've got to go. I'll continue this tomorrow. Blessings on your day.

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Take Care

Life is indeed what happens when you make other plans. 

My mother-in-law had her surgery on her elbow and hip yesterday. Even though several times she thought she would reschedule because she didn't feel very well. Poor little thing. 

The worst is over. The healing process can now begin. And it's going to be a doozy of a healing process. But, as the nurses told her when she asked to reschedule, pain is inevitable. The pain of healing is productive and going somewhere and there is an end in sight. The pain of fear, waiting, lying in brokenness is wasted pain. They didn't quite say that, I embellished. 

So today, please, use the railings, tread with purpose, wear your seatbelt, don't text and drive. Because the pain of prevention beats the crap out of the pain of oops. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Monday Blessings

Quite the eventful weekend. 

First up was 24 hours of Arbonne conversation where I was inspired and challenged. Plus the eight hours round trip which included more encouraging and challenging conversation.

I managed to crack out a few words here and there when I had a chance to work on Out of the Frying Pan. 

Also there was time for some reading for the book review that is due before Thanksgiving. 

And last night's snuggles on the couch with stinky, adorable grand dogs. 

The biggest event was spending time with my mother-in-law who fell and broke her hip, collar bone and elbow on Sunday morning.  Calling the ambulance, going to the ER, hearing that everything that hurt was broken, watching her slip into morphine induced sleep…thank you, Lord, for morphine. And realizing that no less than five details falling into perfect place were absolute God sends, because without them, things could have been so much worse. 

I am calling the rest of this month… No Room For Negativity November. Because there just isn't. Ain't nobody got time for that. 

Scraps and Snippets - Caulfredo Sauce

Caulfredo Sauce

1 head of cauliflower (leaves and tough stump removed and discarded but use stems) (about 3 cups)

2 1/2 Cups unsweetened "milk"(I used soy)

1 to 1 1/2 TBSP "Butter" (I used Earth Balance)
1/2 onion diced

8-10 cloves or garlic diced (I used 8, I’m going to add a little more in the next batch)

1 tsp salt

1 tsp lemon juice

Break up cauliflower and place in a pan with a steamer section and lid. Bring water to boilthen drop to simmer. Steam until tender, about 7 minutes. Let cool. 

Saute garlic and onion in the butter and caramelize.(if desired you could drizzle onion and garlic with a little olive oil and roast instead).

Place the cooled cauliflower, sautéed veggies, salt and lemon juice in a large food processor or super blender. Puree, add milk a cup at a time until you get the consistency you desire. Store in fridge if not using right away. Heat on low, or in low crockpot to warm sauce. (If you don't have a huge food processor, puree 1/2 the cauliflower, onions, garlic and lemon juice and salt. Add some of the milk. Dump into another pan or crock pot. Puree the remaining cauliflower etc in the food processor and do the same. Add to the pot and stir, mix in the rest of the milk until you reach the desired consistency.)

Serve over rice or pasta or vegetables. 

Serials and Scenarios ~ Story Building...

Actually, one of the bad guys in Out of the Frying Pan.

Our character, Rudolpho Vasquez, is a drug dealer with entrepreneurial tendencies and has been known to deal with problems with a slightly murderous touch. 

Interestingly, Michelle actually grabbed these from news articles. Clearly, we are using the photos as a tool to help us with our descriptions not as any sort of statement about the men within the photos. However. As a blueprint for a character, which one would you pick? 

Serials and Scenarios ~ A Heart Deceived….Super Deal

Michelle threatened to send me to a bad, bad place if I didn't share this. Whew. Crisis averted. But, if you are looking for a good read, you might want to pick this one. For the curious, Out of the Frying Pan is clipping along nicely. 

TODAY ONLY snatch up your copy of A HEART DECEIVED for 99¢ at https://vyrso.com/product/31963/a-heart-deceived-a-novel. It’s the perfect time of year to curl up with this gothic regency…

Lies just may be the death of Miri Brayden, unless Ethan Goodwin—a master of deception himself—can rescue her before it’s too late.