Scribbles and Scrambles ` And Then....

Toad Boy (aka my son) has this catch phrase that he uses frequently. It's designed to get a reaction from listeners and usually that reaction is a laugh. 

He is full of stories and most of them are hilarious. He, unfortunately, inherited the even-if-I'm-the-only-one-laughing,-at-least-someone-is, syndrome. From me. Of course. 

His schtick is when a story gets a bit dry (this NEVER happens in stories where he is driving, those are fraught with laughter and tension) he will toss in the phrase. "And then I found five dollars." Which is designed to make a dull story "interesting." 

Yesterday at work, we had a few men who had back to back chest xrays and ekgs. The ekg nurse found a folded up five dollar bill on the floor during ekg number three. She told the guy it had fallen out of his pocket. He said, no, it wasn't his. So I took it to the waiting room and asked number two if it was his. Nope. Number one had left after his bloodwork so the receptionist gave him a call. And bingo. 

Of course, I immediately texted Toad Boy. He said that guaranteed anything that happened that day would indeed be interesting in the retelling. 

Okay. Maybe you had to be there. Maybe if I offered you five dollars. 

Scraps and Snippets ~ Infamy...

My nutso friend Michelle dropped in a few weeks ago. She has written a new historical that required a recipe for orange marmalade. And since boiling hot, sticky liquid and two slightly deranged women were involved, we decided it needed a video. So. Here you go. Enjoy. And if you like her quirk, you'll love her writing, unless you are a scaredy cat...

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Picture With Me...

You have to use your internal peepers for this one. Let me set the stage for you and tell a little tale. 

One day a woman was driving home from her violin lesson. Traffic for some reason was pretty much insane. Inching forward, stop, inching forward, stop. Finally, she reached the on-ramp for the interstate and found that not only was traffic there, crazy, it was moving right along. She merged and then played the get-in-the-right-lane game. It was then that she saw him, two lanes over.

A bright blue pick up. Mid-seventies, possibly early 80's...the kind that you just don't see on the interstate very often. Beat up, of course, it's put some serious time in. The bed is full of lumpy peach colored items. The woman, intrigued now, cranes her neck, one eye on the traffic, one eye trying to figure out what fills the pickup bed....

And then, she spies it. A well-formed, completely obvious swell of a buttock. And there, next to it, is a complete set, standing proudly, leaning against the inside corner of the truck. A load of mannequin buttocks? A truckful of butts? A buttload of mannequin parts? 

Yes. And the woman, battling crazy traffic, all alone, wished for a camera. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Painting Party Tutorial ~ Day 2

We were at Step 4: The stems and leaves. Finish your leaves, leaving half of each leaf blank. 

Step 5: Yellow centers, aka blobs. Use the same technique you did for the small flowers. Mix up the bump outs on the yellow blob to make the flower more interesting. And black rings. Ditto. Don't fill in the black ring because the blue will be going there. 

Step 6: Outline the flowers, leaves and buds with a thin brush dipped in black paint.  (Or use a Sharpie)

Step 7: Blue. Fill each black ring with a blue blob. And then pick which leaves or portion of leaf you want to paint blue and fill it in, or highlight it over the green that is already in place. 

Step 8: Add yellow highlights to the leaves and buds. 

Uniquely same art. 

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ Painting Party Tutorial ~ Part 1

& found a poster and liked it's looks. I liked that it looked easy to duplicate.

Blank Canvas. Ha. Ha. We used 8 x 10s and 11 x 14's.
Step 1) Dry brush/stipple yellow (or color of choice) onto the canvas. Or paint the whole background whatever color you want, or plaid, or stripes....go crazy. I didn't do this step with my example, I did it after I got done with the painting and decided the pre would be better and cut down on any smearing.

Step 2: Decide how many big and medium flowers and how many buds you want on your picture. I went with  3 buds,  2 small and 1 large flower. Simply paint an amoeba like blob with 4 rounded bump outs. 

Continue with the small flowers. The buds can be made by placing your brush perpendicular to the canvas and spinning in a tight circle.  

Step 3: Stems. With a tiny tipped brush or green sharpie, draw stems. Start at the base of each flower and bud and pull the stems off the canvas, intersecting where you want. Draw them as thin or thick as you want.  

Step 4: Begin adding leaves. Add them close enough to the flowers that they look natural, and connected to a stem...if you need to add a stem, do so. Add leaves onto white spaces. Fill in half of each leaf with solid green. Leave the other half blank. Leaves can be shaped like and eye or squished oval or rain or tear drop. 

More, tomorrow.

Scribbles and Scrambles ~ In The Eye of the Beholder

The painting example....

& and her friends had a fun night at a painting class a few weeks ago. The class is designed for friends to chillax and toss back a few glasses of wine (hmmm, seems like an interesting possible bad idea, but whateves) while a professional teaches the group, one step at a time, to paint. 

The four participants had both similar and radically different results and it was pretty cool to see the inner artist come out of each of their paintings. So, somehow, & volunteered me to teach a homemade version of this class at a friend's birthday party. Apparently, & likes how I paint flowers. No pressure. 

So we went to Hobby Lobby and took some pictures of flowers and pictures of pictures of flowers. And then she picked the one she liked the most. Fortunately, it was one I thought I could "teach". I changed/modified it on one of the canvases we bought. AND, as instructed, (did I mention I didn't go to the class with her and that I'm not exactly trained in the arts?) took stages pictures and wrote out the instructions. (I'll actually do a tutorial soon.) 

The party grew. From possibly 6 people I did know to 11, half of which I didn't. The first question after people started nibbling on the vodka soaked Swedish Fish (apparently, vodka soaked gummy bears are all the rage, but gummy bears are not vegan. However, Swedish Fish are...I tried one. Since I don't care for the lovely after burn of alcohol and hate Swedish Fish, one was enough....more than enough!) ...I digress...was "So are you an artist?" Gulp. Fortunately, my gig was volunteer and they were just covering materials. 

So, stay tuned. 

Scraps and Snippets ~ Lemon Chia Bars (Vegan)

Lemon Bars

8 x 11 30 to 35 minutes 350

1 1/2 Cup whole wheat pastry flour

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

3 flax eggs (4 TBSP water, 2 TBSP milk)

1 Cup sugar

2 TBSP EB

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp almond extract

1/3 Cup lemon juice

1 tsp lemon juice

1/2 Cup coconut oil

Zest of one lemon

1 TBSP chia seed

Glaze 

1 Cup powdered sugar

2 TBSP milk

1 teaspoon lemon juice

two drops almond extract

additional chia seeds, 1 tsp or so.

Bake 30 minutes, or until set up. Pour glaze over bars and let cool.