Did you read the links I provided yesterday? The brain rot article was extra fascinating to me. One point in particular resonated (don't you
love being able to use Reader's Digest Words to Ponder?) with me.
The section where he mentioned that stress is something to be expected,
and we all know about the stressors in life (mostly changes like
relationships, homes, jobs, health) but that being with chronic
complainers and negative people is as lethal as stress to our well-being.
Which reminds me of a really stress filled time at work several years ago. When we got
our new Windows based computer system half the staff had limited
computer experience. And our whole schtick was to go completely
paperless. Let me give a hearty laugh right now. Har. Har. Har.
Paperless DID NOT happen. However, stress bloomed like those super
growing trees that promise ten feet of growth per year. Part of the
problem was the OOPS factor, our DOS based data didn't carry over as promised.
So everything had to be re-keyed into the new system. That was just one
of the issues. The stress and tension was so big I thought we might lose a few staff people. (No, not death, quitting, but there were times
death might have been welcomed.) Anyhoo, we somehow survived that
trial intact. We each kind of found a niche and learned it and then trained
others who needed to know it. We still occasionally have a serendipitous
moment when we stumble onto some sneaky and helpful shortcut. Long way
of saying, stress and negativity definitely was the color of the day,
week, month.
Oddly, a few months later I began breaking molars.
After the second one cracked and needed to be repaired I realized that
during the tension of that couple of months my whole face hurt. I
had been clenching my teeth, probably even as I slept, and I weakened
teeth that had been repaired when I was younger. The weak areas were
vulnerable to my stress. I became so aware of that little bad habit that
to this day I feel my stress in my face. When my face feels tense I
eventually check my stress level and work on some ways to decrease that
tension.
The office has been quiet the past two days in spite of experiencing, with our entire city, a boil
alert. We had a huge sewer implosion and it had the potential of
contaminating our entire water supply. So we were unable to drink or
cook with water unless it had been boiled for at least a minute. Each of
us brought in our own water, a drug rep brought in water. Washing
hands was a conundrum. Wash our hands with soap and contaminated water,
then follow with hand sanitizer, or skip the contaminated water
altogether? But we survived with minimal complaining.
And a co-worker, who
reads my blog periodically, reported that she was going to look at a
negative as a positive. Instead of complaining that we have to park far
away from our office (with the ready reminder of the security guard
parked at the mouth of the parking garage where we are not supposed to park) she was going to restate the trek as an opportunity for extra
exercise. Especially since she usually packs a Bible, a Bible study book
and several bottles of water as well as her lunch. Ha. Ha. Way to go.
Get that cardio on, Baby.
Have a happy, uplifting, positive
weekend. What activities do you have planned and how can you frame them
so that you can see the good bits and minimize the not so good ones?
Does the way you look at the world really make a difference????? I did some poking around on the internet looking for
stats and details about negativity vs positive mind set. Here are some
very interesting links I found. I didn't drill down and look at the
cited details so I can't say I agree with everything. But I found this information to be thought provoking. And
I'm a big fan of thinking things through.
Brain Rotting
Attitude
Issues and Relationships
Health Issues Don’t store up treasures on earth! Moths and rust can destroy them, and
thieves can break in and steal them. Instead, store up your treasures
in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy them, and thieves cannot
break in and steal them. Your heart will always be where your treasure
is.” Matthew 6:19-21 CEV
My day two "lose the negativity" quest went..., well, well. One of
my most challenging of late co-workers didn't come to work. That may
have helped a bit. However, one of the others was especially crabby. A
little storm cloud followed her in and we chatted after she arrived.
Mostly, she complained. A few minutes into her tirade I told her I was
trying to be more positive and stop the cycle of negativity. She laughed
out loud then told me that positive thinking is a crock. But I did
effectively end the negative flow of her words. She teased me throughout
the day but didn't launch back into her complaining. Hmmm. Interesting
technique I may have to hang on to.
I noticed a few things about
my day when I was looking for the positive: The sun was shining and the
temperature hit the upper thirties, making it officially beautiful.
Compared to an April 70 degree day, maybe not, but beautiful none the
less. I started my day with prayer and chewed on some spiritual truths
on my way to work. I made a dent in the stack of paperwork on my desk.
Sometimes just digging in instead of dreading digging in and putting it
off is really the best plan. Less wasted energy spent fretting. One of
my co-workers had some time on her hands and offered to do a job that I
put off because it's so overwhelming and insignificant but yet has to be
done. ... Wow. That was a HUGE blessing. A doctor from another clinic
not only held a door for me twice, the second time he opened the door,
stood to the side and motioned for me to go through first. And not in an
inpatient, "hurry up, Lady" kind of way. Crazy, that doesn't happen
very often.
What happened to you today that you would call a blessing?
See. It's not so hard.
Today.
Write a list of ten blessings, positives, greats, betters in your life,
and stick it somewhere where you can see it.. And keep paying attention
to what you are saying and hearing and try to add a little light, a
little positive into your surroundings. You can do it. Shoot for one
positive to one negative.
QuitCHIR (Quit Complaining, Harumping, Imploding, Raging.)
Thursday
and Friday at the office were pretty tough. Reentry after a few days of
family and friends and celebrating holidays is tough. But when there
are changes, transitions and unknowns on top of it, and several women
who don't always deal well with any of these, negativity is a mushroom
cloud. We all got a 1 1/2% raise and the government took 2%. We work in
medicine which changes every year, more so this year than usual. Staff
has changed, and folks are dealing with car issues, family problems,
diets, and just overall stress. Monday, the first day that I had decided
to pay attention to the waves of negativity I surf I got an eyeful and I
just gotta say. WHEW!!!! I'm not sure there were any uplifting,
positive comments uttered. Oh, there was black humor and sarcasm
aplenty. But as funny as sarcasm is, it's simply disguised cynicism. One
of the best things about my job is that when my morning appointments
are done, the rest of my day is flexible, and I can come early and leave
early. That can be a lifesaver. When I go in before we open, I have
silence or lowkey interactions for long periods of time. Two of my
coworkers do the opposite. They come in late morning and stay after we
close up shop. Are we instinctively trying to create nests of sanity in
our world?
What do your environments look like? The same quagmires? Do you have a safety net?
Today,
I suggest that when we recognize a negative thought, or comment coming
out of our mouths, or even out of the mouths of others, that we toss out
something positive. Simply look at our half empty glass and pour
something into it so it begins to look half full. You don't have to
attack your friend, family member or co-worker with a glitter wand,
though I'm thinking that could be VERY effective in some situations.
Positive can be remembering that if there is a huge pile of horse poo
there's gotta be a pony, right? Look for the pony in the poo. Or, maybe.
put on the eyeglasses of compassion and agree with your coworker that
maybe life is hard, but.... the sun is shining. You've both got your
jobs and that she's good at her job. Don't forget to look inward and
combat self-talk, too. Use this tool against your own inner monologue of
negativity. You, each of us, has something to offer the world.
Sometimes the most simple act can mean the most. Being kind, patient,
upbeat or gentle can make someone's really rotten day begin to look up,
even if that really rotten day is yours.
How easy is it for you to plunge into negativity?
The lure of
negativity for me? It's cake. Multiple layers of decadent cake slathered
with creamy frosting and various assorted mouthwatering fillings. And
as addictive.
When I begin complaining, counting flaws, finding
fault, gritching, blaming, it becomes a crushing snowball in my life.
And when I enter a location with others who are out of sorts, it's not
long before I join them and built my ice fortress of ugliness.
So.
Even though we are one week into the new year and I have yet to make
official resolutions, I'm setting aside thirty days to make a change in
the way I look at life. If I force myself to stop the cycle of
negativity I won't catch the frozen snowballs of yuck that others throw
my direction. Right?
So join me.
I'm going to call it
QuitCHIR. Quit Complaining, Harumping, Imploding, Raging. Start seeing
the blessings in life, the good in others and the beauty around us.
Because all of those three huge things exist. They just get buried in
attitude, outlook and gloomy clouds of doom.
My suggestion, and
feel free to expand on this idea, is to replace the focus on the stormy
clouds with looking for the silver linings.
Day One
Recognize
your negative thoughts. Are there situations and/or people that tend to
multiply them? If you are very brave write them down.
Come back tomorrow for Day Two. A very positive step, indeed.
Or is it?
Occasionally I run out of things to blather about. So then I have to get creative. Here's the grease that got my brain cranking.
I must admit that I do. Sometimes, it's impossible not to. Those icky, awkward situations when folks are airing their dirty laundry in public. Or, you know, the parents cajoling, bribing, trying to talk sense into their out-of-control shrieking children. Or worse, the parent yakking on the cell phone and ignoring all sorts of screaming and bad behavior, only to reprimand the child in a horribly inappropriate way over something trivial. Yes, behavior that makes Christmas shopping all the more fun.
And it's really difficult not to focus in on conversations where both parents are on cell phones at dinner and kids sit at a table playing video games. I think a full 80% of public cell phone conversations are ones that, if they didn't take place, wouldn't matter one bit.
And my favorite of all places to overhear a conversation involves another cell phone scenario, a public restroom, in the stall next to me. Nuff said? Right? I can attest to the fact that ALL overheard potty stall cell phone conversations are ridiculous and more often than not noisy, all those flushing toilets and other ... stuff.
And then, there are the quiet conversations. The ones the inner mystery lover in me wants to investigate further. Just sayin. And finally the fun, distant tete-a-tetes wherein I get to make up conversations based on body language, gestures and lip reading. An exercise in fiction writing. : )
Do you eavesdrop?
This is a really delicious and much easier scratch for a cinnamon
roll itch. I Veganized (and eased up on the fat from this version).
Cake:
1/4 Cup room softened Earth Balance margarine
1/4 Cup applesauce
3/4 Cup sugar
2 flax eggs (2 TBSP ground flax, 6 TBSP water mixed together and set aside.)
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 and 1/2 Cups non-dairy milk
3 Cups flour (I used whole wheat pastry flour)
4 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Topping:
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons flour
3 teaspoons cinnamon
1/4 Cup and 2 TBSP softened Earth Balance
1/4 Cup and 2 TBSP applesauce
Glaze:
1 3/4 Cups powdered sugar
3 TBSP non-dairy milk
1 teaspoon maple syrup
Putting it all Together:
Instructions for the cake:
Cream Earth Balance, applesauce and sugar, add flax eggs, vanilla, and milk. Add dry ingredients and mix well. Pour into a 9 x 13" greased pan.
Prepare topping:
Stir
together topping ingredients until cream. Drop evenly over batter by
tablespoons and swirl through the batter with a knife. I pulled the
knife horizontally through each row of cinnamon blobs. Then I did the
same vertically until I had a pretty marbly pattern.
Bake at 350º for 45 minutes.
Glaze:
Whisk
glaze ingredients till smooth. Drizzle 2/3s over warm cake. And leave
the rest for icing lovers to add as they desire to their own piece.
