Scribble and Scrambles - Housekeeping Horror - Grandma Will Never Forget

Immortalizing my messiness...story number two.

Page 108 of The House That Cleans Itself

Writing under the pseudonym Evelyn R.

Time for a Change

"Grandma dropped by for a scheduled visit. I'd cleaned and delegated jobs to the children, one of whom had forgotten to put away the vacuum cleaner. (This wasn't an issue; at least it proved we vacuumed on occasion!) The brand caught Grandma's eye, and she walked toward it and grasped the handle.

"Is this one of those light little 8-pound vacuums?" she asked.

I nodded and smiled just as Grandma tried to lift it -- and couldn't.

"Good grief!" she cried. "That's a lot more than 8 pounds!"

I grabbed the handle. A churning in my stomach reminded me that I'd given all vacuuming responsibility to my 12-year-old, and I hadn't checked the bag in ages. Gulping at the gritty gray trail of dust that followed any movement of the handle, I wrestled it to the front porch. It weighed at least 30 pound! I unzipped the bad and engulfed my Grandma, Mom and me in a cloud of dirt.

Grandma still laughs 10 years later. The vacuum still works...if I remember to change the bag."



Come back tomorrow for a Q & A session with Mindy.

Serials and Scenarios - And If I Die

Click on the book cover to see more about John Aubrey Anderson's latest in his Black and White chronicles.

John's website

Past Dregs Interview with John

Serials and Scenarios - The House That Cleans Itself

Now that I've shared one of my humiliating housekeeping snafus, here's Amazon's link to the book that I'm taking pretty seriously. Okay, right now it's in a pile, but I keep lifting the corner of the mound of stuff on top and peeking at my helpful little friend.

Mindy's Website offers lots more info, too.



My Review:



Housekeeping is not my forte. Like Mindy Starnes Clark I feel drawn to helpful hints, but alas, they end up becoming part of my clutter rather than part of my solution.

This book is designed for the housekeeping impaired or challenged. What an amazing idea...restructuring the house rather than attempting to rewire the brains of the household members.

Eureka! If you have struggled with waves of stuff, or a house that seems to explode contents randomly and without warning, this book may be "the one!"

The very Christian message of prayer and persistance is within the pages along with encouragement.

Though I may not begin tomorrow, the ideas and tips are going to be swirling in my mind for weeks, and I'll end up taking a highlighter to the book and then I'm going to get to work.

Two of my housekeeping nightmares are printed in the book and it was no surprise to my friends and family that my stories were chosen.

The House that Cleans Itself and I are going to become very close. I think I can smell lemony fresh freedom.

Scribble and Scrambles - Housekeeping Horror...Pat's Revenge

I mentioned recently that I've been published...in book form. A real book. Yes. It's true.

Unfortunately...I'm anonymous.

The call came several months ago.

A search for housekeeping moments that should never see the light of day. Embarrasing and horrific seconds that seem like lifetimes when our faults and faux pas become visible.

I'm not content to be anonymous.

I want to own my messes. Actually I'd like to give them away, but these are funny as well as embarrasing. And other than the few folk who stumble into dregs by accident, we're all friends here.

So here it goes. The first story. Page 32 of The House That Cleans Itself

by Kelly Klepfer aka Corinne Z.

"My child's birthday party brought much work -- closets to clean, floors to scrub, clutter to hide. Hours later I had conquered it all. (I have this bizarre compulsion to clean everything if I'm going to clean anything.) The closets, gleaming and organized, brought tears of satisfaction to my eyes.

Until my father wandered in. According to him, the moment was so rare that he wanted to capture it on film. He ran back and got the video camera, and then he returned and began filming. In awe, he traveled from room to room, immortalizing the cleanliness on film -- all the while quipping sarcastic commentary.

Sigh. At least he noticed it was clean. "

If you are a long-term reader you will understand why I've named this post - Pat's revenge.

Come back tomorrow for my review of the book. And Thursday will reveal an even more horrific housekeeping moment.

Serials and Scenarios - Robin Lee Hatcher Returns

Robin Lee Hatcher was kind enough to stop and chat for awhile. I enjoyed her visit. I know you will, too.

Fiction character you would most like to be or most identify with and why?

I’d like to be Scarlet O’Hara, keep all her spunkiness and bravery, and overcome all of her flaws (selfishness being the first that has to go). I can’t say I identify with her, but she is a character who has always fascinated and intrigued me. If I’d been an actress in 1930’s Hollywood, you better believe I would have done a screen test to play the role.



Some out there in writing land have strange rituals. Share yours.

Sorry. I think I must be rather dull in this regard. I just want my computer, a bit of soft background music (mostly movie soundtracks), and a dash of creativity. In a pinch, however, I have been known to write the last of a book without stopping to fix meals. In such cases, I survive by popping M&M Peanuts. Hey, it makes sense. Sugar for a boost of energy and peanuts for protein.



If you could change something in any novel, what would you change about it and why?

Back to Scarlett O’Hara and Gone With the Wind. The romance writer in me longs to see Scarlett and Rhett finally get together, to admit how much they love each other and live HEA. But then maybe I wouldn’t be fascinated by Scarlett if the ending was tied up so neatly. {{shrug}}



What crayon in the box describes you on a good day? Bad day?

Good day: TealBad day: Slate gray



Pick one…..Pink iguana, purple cow, periwinkle giraffe. Which one and why? Can be negative or positive.

Purple Cow.
Why?
Because...I've never seen a purple cow;
I hope to never see one.
But I can tell you anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one!



Favorite turn of phrase or word picture, in literature or movie.

I have two favorites, both of them from the same movie, A Knight’s Tale.

#1, Paul Bettany as Geoffrey Chaucer, sometimes called the father of English literature, says: "I'm a writer. I give the truth scope!"

#2, Chaucer, talking to some bad guys who beat him and stole his clothes earlier in the movie: "I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every last pimple. Every last character flaw. I was naked for a day. You will be naked for eternity."

Ooh, I do so love those lines.



What period of history intrigues you the most?

I can’t name just one. England of the middle ages, Regency, and Victorian periods. The American West of the 1800’s. The time and settings in the Bible. And more. Much more. History was my favorite subject in school, and I love learning about new periods and customs.



What would you write if there were no rules or barriers? (epic novels about characters in the Bible, poetry, greeting cards, plays, movies, instruction manuals, etc.)

I pretty much write what I want right now without any rules or barriers. So I guess the answer is contemporary and historical women’s fiction written from a Christian worldview, novels meant to touch the hearts of readers and point them to the One who has all answers.


How does something worm its way into your heart? Through tears, truth, humor or other?

Tears.



Book, music, person, food you would take with you on a very long trip.

Book: the BibleMusic: lots of different styles (praise, hymns, classic rock, classical, country), everything that was on my iPodPerson: my daughtersFood: M&M Peanuts (just in case I needed energy and protein)


Where would you most like to travel ----- moon, north pole, deep seas, deserted island, the holy land or back to a place from your childhood, somewhere else? – and why.

Ireland, England, and Sweden. Those are the countries of my ancestors, and I would love to spend weeks exploring them (preferably in the warmer and drier season of the year).



Favorite season and why?

Fall. I love the crisp mornings and the warm days we have in Idaho in the fall. I love the way the air smells in the autumn. I love the colors that seem so much more vibrant than at any other time.



Which compliment related to your writing has meant the most and why?

When readers tell me that something I wrote brought them closer to God or helped them hear Him better or brought healing to an open wound in their lives, that is the best feeling of all. It always amazes me the way God uses fiction to speak to those with ears to hear.



What would you do today if you knew you had only a week to live?

I’d gather my children and grandchildren together and spend every last moment with them, making sure they knew how much I love them.



Societal pet peeve…sound off.

How intolerant people who demand tolerance often are.


Thanks for the visit, Robin. Have a great weekend, one and all.

Scary and Sensational - James

I didn't know James very well.

I thought I had time.

I'm always so busy on Sunday mornings, people to connect with, t's to cross and i's to dot.

So busy that often a wave or a smile was all I had for James and the kids who came with him.

James lived a life I know nothing about.

I have parents who loved me and nurtured me. He didn't.

I have family that I can call my own, or call when I need them, or call just to laugh and reminisce. But James made his own family. A group of people who knew him and those who didn't know him so well, and Jesus.

James. A kid finally on his own two feet, earning his own way in life, making plans and grabbing his dreams with both hands, died this weekend.

In the wrong place at the wrong time. A shooting. One minute he lived to make the world a better place and the next he crossed over into a better place.

What do we do with moments like this, when all the lace and frills have been ripped off the walls of our blinders and we see this world for what it really is, brutal...

I think James would hope we'd open our eyes to the blinding reality and turn to the truth, hope and peace we can find in Jesus.

But I can't answer for James. I didn't know him very well.

Maybe his short life is a call for me to leave i's undotted and t's uncrossed when it means I can use that time to know people -- while there's still time.

Serials and Scenarios - Return to Me

Robin Lee Hatcher's latest book reviewed below. Click on the book cover to visit Amazon's Return to Me page. Robin answered the standard dregs questions and I'll post them on Friday (8-03)

My Review:

Roxie and Elena, broken, misunderstood and desperate for the same thing -- love -- choose different paths to get it. Elena, the good girl with the long list of do's and don't's, and Roxie, the rebel.

This modern reblending of the truths within the story of the Prodigal made me think and struggle with the reality of God's raw and generous grace, and the hearts that feel either unworthy or stingy.

Robin Lee Hatcher is a fine wordsmith and provided tension and multi-faceted characters. I especially liked the backstory as it unfolded in memorable events as seen through the eyes of Roxie and Elena as children. The struggle between sisters put me in a position to choose whom to root for and I couldn't decide because I understood how they each made the choices they did, and how much it cost them to do so. I was uncertain how the story would play out until the end so this was a quick read for me. Another book to blame a pile of unfolded laundry on.

Hatcher and women's fiction fans should find much to like in Return to Me.