Monday, April 23, 2007

Scribble and Scrambles - Warty Monograms and Motorcycle Cells

I left the office early Friday.

The beauty of flexible scheduling.

I drove around town with my windows down and the wind whipping my hair in my eyes. This is probably illegal, or at least a bad idea, but after seeing what I saw Thursday, I'm not too worried.

Thursday, I spied a man on a motorcycle. He was easy to see since he pulled out in front of me.

Guess what he was busy doing? Yep. Talking on a cellphone - did I mention he was riding as in driving a motorcycle - one of those things with two wheels and no protective aluminum or fiberglass shell?

While still on the phone, after pulling out in front of me, he turned into a grocery store parking lot.

This was impressive.

Maybe he's got one of those new "look, Ma! No hands!" motorcycles. He didn't use his turn signal. I suppose he didn't want to upset his equilibrium.

While I drove Friday with the whipping frenzy of my hair and bits of grit from the street exfoliating my face, I noticed something else that bugged me.

Bugs me - in present tense -- almost every time I drive past.

Someone built a huge luxury mansion on the top of one of our town's many hills. They installed gates over the driveway and graveled the banks on either side of the gates. A worker, a landscape artist no doubt, painstakingly smoothed the pinkish gravel into a flat sea of weed-free yard and then crafted a perfect six foot letter.

A gravel monogram.

But this was over a year ago, and shortly after this artistic and tasteful yard-styling, someone or something knocked some of the white gravel outside of it's little barrier and the huge letter now has a blurry growth.

There is a wart on the monogram. A hairy wart. And no one has fixed it.

Do you suppose I could be arrested for trespassing if I sneak over some night and repair it?

Hey, maybe they are trying to capture an anal-retentive Sasquatch. I hadn't thought of that.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Serials and Scenarios - Annette Smith - Big Life Q & A

Happy Friday, all.

Annette Smith, author of A Bigger Life is gracing us with her thoughts and comments. I can see why I liked A Bigger Life as much as I did. If you like what Annette has to say, you are going to like her book.


Some out there in writing land have strange rituals. Share yours.


It's not strange but it's definitely caffeinated. Got to have lots of coffee to get me started and to keep me going.


Favorite turn of phrase or word picture, in literature or movie.

And they all lived happily ever after.


What period of history intrigues you the most?

I find the 60's fascinating. I know those were years of great social change and turmoil, but I admire the passionate activism of that era. I also love the music and the fashions. Think about it. Where would we be without the Beatles and the peasant blouse?


What would you write if there were no rules or barriers? (epic novels about characters in the Bible, poetry, greeting cards, plays, movies, instruction manuals, etc.)

Graffiti. I'm always tempted to add my two cents to what's on the bathroom stall walls.


What makes you feel alive?

Many things:
Music, especially live performances. Art. I love galleries and outdoor festivals. Spending time in nature, even just kicked back on my front porch, feeds my soul. I am also energized by deep, off-the-wall conversations with creative, free-spirited, out-of-the box people. The intimate drama inherent in my work as a hospice nurse makes me feel unbelievably alive and alert.



How does something worm its way into your heart? Through tears, truth, humor or other?

I am drawn to the poignant. I find deep meaning in tragedy and loss.


Book, music, person, food you would take with you on a very long trip.

I'd take my Bible and a blank notebook, Norah Jones' Come Away With Me CD, my husband Randy, Green and Black dark chocolate bars, Rice Crispie Treats, and Dasani bottled water.


Where would you most like to travel ----- moon, north pole, deep seas, deserted island, the holy land or back to a place from your childhood, somewhere else? – and why.

That deserted island sounds tempting! I love both solitude and the ocean and am very content when my feet are in the surf and my bottom is sunk into the sand.


Favorite season and why?

I love springtime because of the sheer beauty. Living in a forested part of east Texas, the trees are simply gorgeous right now. Looking out my kitchen window, I can see an amazing number of shades of green against the bluest sky you can imagine. The air is cool. Birds are singing, and clouds of wildflowers bank the roads.


Favorite book setting and why?

Elizabeth Berg is one of my favorite writers. In every one of her books, she lovingly describes the smallest of domestic details in ways that make me want to move right into her settings. I love her kitchens, her gardens, her bedrooms. Every time I read one of her books, I am struck with the desire to rearrange my own nest.


Which compliment related to your writing has meant the most and why?

Readers have told me they can't believe A Bigger Life was really written by a woman. It was a risky venture for me, a middle-aged mainstream wife and mom, to write in the first-person male voice of Joel, a twenty-seven year-old single dad. I love it when someone tells me I nailed his voice.


What criticism has cut the deepest and why?

I am so hard on myself that criticism never surprises me. I nearly always agree with my critics.


What would you do today if you knew you had only a week to live?

I'd get up early and have my coffee on my front porch. I'd water my plants and clean out my underwear drawer. Knowing that in my absence, he'd simply toss it in the dryer and think that was good enough, I'd iron a shirt for my husband to wear to my funeral. I'd invite family and friends to come for dinner and I'd hope they'd spend the night. I'd pet my sweet pooch Wallie and eat oatmeal cookies in bed. I'd buy fresh flowers and put them in every room of my house. I'd write letters to my future grandchildren.



What is your favorite word?

Feign. I think I've managed to work it into ten of my twelve books.



What word annoys you more than any other?

I'm not fond of suddenly.



Favorite chore

Folding clothes. I love it when all there's nothing dirty in the hamper and everything is clean, sweet-smelling, and put where it belongs.


Anything you'd do but don't because of fear of pain? What is it? Ex.
Bungee jumping, sky diving, running with scissors.

My parents' encouraged my adventurous spirit, but they did forbid me to ride a motorcycle. My friend Ken rides an enormous black BMW. When I get up my nerve, I'm going to ask him to take me for a spin.


Societal pet peeve…sound off.

The constant presence of television. TV's are everywhere, in restaurants, hospital waiting rooms, and airports. I don't believe the background noise and rapidly changing images add anything to our quality of life.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Serials and Scenarios - A Bigger Life

The Book: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1576839958


The Author: http://www.annettesmithbooks.com/


The Review:

I was completely sucked into Joel Carpenter's story. Annette Smith's A Bigger Life male perspective point-of-view novel is raw, honest, real and heartbreaking.

I almost felt like I was reading over Joel's shoulder as he wrote in his diary. Visual without sweeping literary words, descriptions and complex sentence structure. Powerful characterization and deeply spiritual, but not exactly pretty. Instead it is a picture of flawed people doing the best they can when life is not what they expected it would be.

A Bigger Life reminded me of secular novels such as About a Boy and She's Come Undone -- the stories that compel you to devour the book to find out if the hero/heroine will overcome the odds against him/her.

Huge complex weavings of the high and low points of Joel Carpenter's life, the lives of his friends, the knitting of hearts together and painful unravelings. Through it all are a few people, flawed and honest about it, who love him enough to reach out with the love of Jesus.

You want cookie cutter anything, then you might not like A Bigger Life. The people don't behave like "good" Christians. A book more about love than doctrine. It's also a book more about story than mechanics. But if you like your fiction to make you think, cry, and wonder about the fragility of life and love, then you'll find it here.




Interview pending for tomorrow...

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Scary and Sensational - Two A.M. Thoughts

My prayers for, and my sorrow reaches toward the hundreds for their loss in yesterday’s massacre. I can’t begin to imagine what the families must be feeling.

Another tragedy. Hundreds -- no thousands -- of people in varying degrees of devastation – this senseless act reaches beyond families and friends and wraps the tentacles of fear around the entire nation.

We want someone to blame. Order demands it – our logical and orderly minds require something to cling to, to wrap around.

Most people blame God.

I understand that.

I also understand that our lives are whipping past us at the speed of light. Noise fills nearly every minute. News of tragedies layer like wallpaper, lining the shells we erect to protect ourselves. Most people wrestle with the realities of life and death during the two a.m. moments of awareness that wake us, terrify us and shake our fragile worlds.

What happens when I die? Who am I? What should I be doing? What’s the point? Why bother?

The 9-11 events that still resonate through me are the stories of heroism, survivors who were aware of divine intervention, the odd events that protected some. I am a Pollyanna. Faith is easy for me. Faith in Jesus, believing He is all that He claims, is simple. But maybe that isn’t Pollyannaish at all. Maybe that’s because I know Jesus intimately, I know His heart. And because I know His heart, I know His Father’s. I am certain that those who died in the 9-11 attack and those who died yesterday were given God’s loving attention, just as the survivors were. And maybe in the shocked seconds of clarity His love broke through the fragile shell of ignorance, disbelief, fear, or intelligence and it saved some souls.

Birth -- death – certainty in each life. Do you have some two a.m. questions that are nagging at you right now in the shocked silence of tragedy?

Monday, April 16, 2007

Scribbles and Scrambles - Too Funny

A sense of humor must be as individual as fingerprints.

I recently read a newspaper column where the columnist sang the praises of Lucille Ball and her zany humor. This guy considers Lucille the Queen Bee of funny. I’m going to admit to the world -- possibly igniting a riot of rage full including rotten, airborne vegetables -- and well you get the general idea…bad things may happen when I admit this.

Lucy leaves me mildly amused at best.
Get it out…let me help. “Boo! Hiss! You stink!”
I can’t help it. I’ve watched Lucy. I’ve even laughed at Lucy, but she just doesn’t do it for me.

While I’m attacking American Institutions…I don’t like “Love Is…” or “Marmaduke” or “Family Circus.” I detest “Nancy” and “Blondie” annoys me.

I do have Dilbert strips stuck on my refrigerator. I’ve purchased Far Side t-shirts, and Calvin and Hobbes books. Not all of them leave me rolling on the floor, but the ones that do become instant laugh-pump primers and put me in the laughing mood.

I love Dilbert’s Wally. “Robotman” had a series on Fleshy the hairless cat that almost always killed me.

I appreciate clever plays on words and twisted thoughts, and some great physical humor.

Three Stooges – some, but it gets too painful.

Just give me a great tumble so I can savor it. Movies…ahhh. Some day I’d love to get a DVD of hilarious moments in cinema. It would include the Ruperick scenes from “Dirty, Rotten Scoundrels” the taxi incidents, the ride up the escalator and the raccoon hug scene from “Elf.” I’d include the scream scene from “Elizabethtown” and all the dirt bike trips from “Nacho Libre.” The DVD wouldn’t be complete without one-line snippets from “Napoleon Dynamite,” “What About Bob?” and “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” “The Three Amigos.” Mockumentaries?…oh, now you’re talking.

I’m just getting started. What would you include in your Best Highlights of Humor DVD?

Friday, April 13, 2007

Serials and Scenarios - Brandilyn Collins - Pointed (gulp)

So what does it feel like to be threatened by one of the leading Christian suspense writers? Scary. If anything happens to me...well I think you might know the first place to look.

My questions in red her threats (I mean answers) in blue.



Fiction character you would most like to be or most identify with and why?

Snoopy. He’s cool. Although he never got a manuscript accepted, so maybe I’d better rethink this one…



If you could ask any person, living or dead, a random question -- what question would you ask of whom?

How about a question my son asked me when he was five: “How do dogs get any privacy?”



Some out there in writing land have strange rituals. Share yours.

I talk to myself and my characters. Although for a novelist, this is actually quite normal.

Scary, isn’t it.




Pick one…..Pink iguana, purple cow, periwinkle giraffe. Which one and why? Can be negative or positive.

Iguanas are ugly in any color. A purple cow’s too common. (Well, there IS a poem about one.) A periwinkle giraffe would be way cool.



Favorite turn of phrase or word picture, in literature or movie.


“I do not know how the suns and worlds are turned. I only see how men will plague themselves.” Mephistopheles, in Goethe’s Faust.

What a perfect description of Satan. I used this phrase in Coral Moon.



If you were assured of writing a best-seller, what genre would it be? Give us a sliver of information, a characteristic or glimpse of a scene.

Seatbelt Suspense, of course.

As for a glimpse—uh-uh. Then I’d have to kill you.




What period of history intrigues you the most?

Now. Although I suppose now’s not history. It’s, well…now. Although now will be history tomorrow. So how about if I write about now tomorrow? Only tomorrow, now will still be now…

Oh, dear. I have just got my knickers in a twist.




What makes you feel alive?

A heartbeat’s a good start.



How does something worm its way into your heart? Through tears, truth, humor or other?

I’m still stuck on the “worm into the heart” visual.

Hm. Could be an interesting way to kill somebody off …



Favorite season and why?

Summer. In Coeur d’Alene, Idaho.

Why? It’s paradise.



Superhero you most admire and why?

My husband, for reasons too numerous to list.



Super power you'd love to borrow for awhile?

Flying. I’ve done this in my dreams a few times. It’s awesome.



Favorite chore

Is this a trick question?



Anything you'd do but don't because of fear of pain? What is it? Ex. Bungee jumping, sky diving, running with scissors.

I will never snowmobile again. I will never snowmobile again. I will never snowmobile again. I will never…



Grammatical pet peeve…sound off.

All the folks who say “For you and I.” Everybody does this now. Agh! Even writers. Even preachers and teachers and speakers—people who oughtta know better.

Societal pet peeve…sound off.

Poor customer service.

Thanks Brandilyn. Happy Friday the 13th, everyone.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Serials and Scenarios - Coral Moon

Appropriately, the author interview will post tomorrow, Friday the 13th. Could it get any better for the queen of seatbelt suspense...wait til you see her answers. shudder. Buckle up and check out Coral Moon.

The book link is: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0310252245

Brandilyn Collins is the bestselling author of Violet Dawn, Web Of Lies, Dead of Night, Stain of Guilt, Brink of Death, and Eyes of Elisha just to name a few.Brandilyn and her family divide their time between the California Bay Area and Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.She also maintains an informative blog called Forensics and Faith where she daily dispenses wisdom on writing, life, and the Christian book industry.

Review:

Kanner Lake....don't really want to visit, but I sure am enjoying reading about the place. Sounds beautiful, homey, like a slice of traditional America....except for the murders.

Nothing like a little murder to totally twist a sweet little tourist spot into a mutated pretzel of doom.

At least poor Paige gets to sit this one out. Well kind of. She's at least got other things to think about than the body she found in her hot tub. Hint...a certain handsome.

Oops don't want to spoil the story.

Bottom line, if you love Collins stuff, you'll find much to like in Coral Moon. This is her best yet. Plenty of gruesome and twisted creepiness to keep the suspense fans whipping through the pages, and lots of down home sweet and charming characters. Most of them anyway.

Well done. Quick read. Great story. Might want to read it in the full on sunshine. After dark...trust me, you don't want to go there.